Are You Teaching Your Kids to Follow Your Financial Habits?

My oldest is 10, and he does chores around the house to earn an allowance.  He works hard, and we’ve taught him to set aside a percentage for investing (10%), for saving (20%), and for giving (10%).  That leaves him to spend 60% of everything he earns.

And spend he does!

He finds it extremely difficult to let his spend money sit and grow so that he can buy something bigger.  Instead, as soon as the money hits his hands, he wants to spend it even if it’s a fairly insubstantial amount and can’t buy him much.

He just can’t seem to save up for the things he wants.

Instead, he’s enticed by advertisements.  He reads the newspaper and magazines to find free catalogs to send away for, and then he wants to spend his money on any little thing.

Teaching Financial HabitsIt’s driving me crazy.

His money, his life.  I should let him spend the money and be disappointed when he has no money to spend later.

Actually, that’s already happened.  When we first moved to Arizona, he saw a 2015 calendar at Costco for $15.  This calendar had scenic landscapes of Arizona and was quite pretty.  I told him to wait because as 2014 came to a close, he could get calendars cheaper.  But he couldn’t wait, and then in December and January, he was disgusted to find how cheap calendars got.

Still, his behavior hasn’t changed.

As a parent, I wonder how much I should interfere.

You see, when I was young, I was just like my son.  I spent every Saturday at the mall, my money burning a hole in my pocket.  I HAD to buy something, even if it was just a pair of socks I didn’t need.  Every week, I walked through the same stores, buying stuff I didn’t need, just like my son buys the stuff he doesn’t need now.

However, my mom never stepped in.  She gave me a wide amount of freedom.  Whatever money I earned was mine to spend how I liked.   She didn’t even ask that I set aside a portion of it for savings.

I was a responsible kid and bought my own car, paid my insurance, paid for gas, and also bought my own clothes.  I think she figured that I was handling my money well, so it was up to me to decide what to do with the rest.

When I was a teenager, my friend and I used our money from our job to go out to eat and see a movie every Friday.  Sometimes we’d go out to eat on the weekdays, too.

What a waste!

Imagine if I had instead invested just a small portion of that in a Roth IRA.  Or if I had saved it to pay for part of my college education.  Maybe I wouldn’t have graduated with $25,000 in student loan debt.

Even now, I have a hard time saving, though I am getting much better.  I’m finally able to stick to a budget and make saving a priority.  It’s taken me 40 years to break bad spending habits that I learned in childhood.  Let’s be honest, getting a hot deal isn’t really a deal if you don’t need the item and it robs you of the ability to save.

I want to teach my son this lesson now, so he can be more financially responsible than I was for many years.  But that lesson is oh so hard to teach.

How much do you guide and interfere in the way your child chooses to spend money?

 

Have We Lost the Meaning of Frugality?

My grandparents were married during the Great Depression.  Their first few years together were spent in severe economic hardship, and the financial lessons they learned during that lean time never left them.

They always had one car.

My grandma wore the same dresses throughout my entire lifetime.  I think when she died, the dresses she still had were 25 to 30 years old.

They rarely went out to eat, opting instead to cook and eat simple meals at home.

My grandparents did without much of the time, and they were very frugal with their money.

They sold their house when they retired and lived in a 5th wheel trailer parked on the side of our lot, less than 20 steps from our house.  All of their possessions fit in that space, and their home was not cluttered.

Has the Meaning of Frugality Changed?

Lost FrugalityNow, the definition of frugal seems to be different.  People try hard to avoid doing without.

Now, the motto seems to be, “Why do without?”  Live like the Jones’ without spending money like the Jones’.

Whereas my grandparents carefully bought the groceries they needed, today’s frugal zealots clip coupons and create grocery storage spaces out of their garages.  They have rows and rows of processed food that they got for pennies on the dollar thanks to couponing.

Many mom bloggers are making their fortune sharing all the hottest deals available.  Kids’ winter jackets for $8!  Hurry, buy women’s turtlenecks for $4 today only!  Get your child the Barbie princess house for the low price of $48!

Hurry!  Hurry!  Buy the bargain.

Do You Really Need That Bargain?

So many consumers are on the hunt for a good deal that they never stop to ask themselves if they really need the item that is on sale.

What if your child doesn’t need the Barbie princess house?  What if your child has so many toys, she whines about picking them up and doesn’t take care of the ones she has?  Is that Barbie princess house still a good deal?

What if you never even thought about buying that item until you saw it on sale and didn’t want to miss out on the savings?

We’re Overwhelmed with Stuff

Look back at pictures of people’s homes from 60 or 70 years ago.  Their homes were not cluttered.  They were much more like the minimalists’ homes of today.

Now, we take advantage of so many “deals” that our homes are overflowing.  Here in Arizona where there are no basements, and therefore no built in storage, most people can’t park in their garages because they’re stuffed with possessions.

We don’t need all of this stuff.

Snagging a great deal on something we don’t need isn’t a deal.

It’s a waste of money.

Keep More Money in Your Pocket This Holiday Season

We’re entering into the busiest shopping season of the year.  There will be good deals, plenty of them.  You’ll likely be tempted to buy as many gifts for yourself as you will for others.  After all, the prices are so good.

But ask yourself one simple question–Do I need it?  If you don’t, it’s not a deal.

Do you think the definition of frugality has changed?  Do you or someone you know struggle with buying more than you need because something is on sale?

 

 

Do You Compare Your Finances to Others?

I belong to several Facebook groups, and recently, a woman in one group asked the seemingly innocent question, “What do you pay for cell phones and car insurance?”  She added, “We pay $180 a month for our cell phones and $345 a month for our car insurance.”

Say what?

When you read that number, you automatically think one of two things–“Wow, she’s paying a fortune for cell phones and car insurance!” (that was my initial thought), or, you think, “Sounds about right.”

Comparing FinancesA few of you may even think she’s getting a good deal.

My husband and I each carry a cheap cell phone from Tracfone that is for emergencies or occasionally checking in with one another.  We don’t spend any more than $10 to $20 a month on them.  Our car insurance is about $55 per month.  (We only have one vehicle.)

After reading how much this woman spent, I was feeling pretty good about myself.  But why?  I really don’t know her situation.  Her cell phone plan might include cell phones for the whole family.  Her car insurance is likely for multiple cars.  Maybe she has teenage drivers, or maybe she or her spouse has gotten a ticket recently.

Besides, I have no idea how much money she makes.  These bills might not be that extravagant in relationship to her income.

There’s really no point comparing my situation to hers.  To do so would invite complacency toward my own budget at best, and a loosening of the purse strings at worst because, hey, other people are spending a lot more than me.

The Only Time You Should Compare Your Spending to Others

Generally, I try not to compare my spending or budget to others.  Circumstances vary widely, and knowing another person’s exact financial situation is difficult.  Too often, especially online, we get a snapshot of someone’s finances and think we see the whole picture when we don’t.

We make assumptions of our own financial situations based on others.

Ultimately, we need to strive to do the best we can do with our own budgets.  To beat ourselves by spending less and/or saving more than we did the month before or the year before.

The only time it makes sense to look at someone else’s finances and spending is when they are doing considerably better than you, and you want to learn from and emulate them.  For instance, I knew my husband and I were spending too much for groceries.  One blogger I read has grown a large garden and planted fruit trees so that she can feed her family of 9 for less than $300 per month.  (Yes, you read that right.)

I know I won’t  ever have a grocery budget of $300 per month, but reading her techniques and strategies has encouraged me to cut my grocery budget and try to spend less.  It’s even inspired me to try out once a month shopping to reduce costs.

Ultimately, we shouldn’t compare our finances to others, but if we’re going to, we should only compare to those we wish to emulate.

Do you look at other people’s spending to make you feel better about your own or to motivate you to improve your finances?