Goodness! Did you see what the markets did yesterday? Down almost 400 points! If you haven’t already, you had better join the rest of the world in getting out while you still can. The era of easy gains in the stock market and guaranteed returns has officially ended, and it isn’t pretty. It’s time to let go of the bull market ideals. Do you know what happens to a bull in a room full of bears? Here. Let me show you.
Seriously. Those bears are going to eat you alive! Sell everything you got now. Take it out in gold, and head for the hills. Don’t forget the canned supplies and vegetable seeds for after the apocalypse that will follow! Quit your job, pack your family up, and head for North Dakota. We’ve got plenty of oil field jobs available. (see: Bakken formation) And with a bunch of liquid black gold running over your fingers, you won’t need to worry about the crashing stock market anyways!
Ok, obviously, this whole post is a little bit tongue-in-cheek, with the exception of the North Dakota part. We really do have plenty of oil field jobs available. Best economy in the U.S.A., in fact. And, even if the post weren’t tongue-in-cheek, and you took it seriously, you really, really, should talk to a financial professional before making any thing resembling a sell everything move. The whole post was all for the enjoyment of myself, MoneyMamba, and others who felt that there would be a whole plethora of posts by our colleagues touting the benefits of dollar cost averaging and long term views on the stock market. They may be right, but sometimes you just have to poke a little fun. 😉
Despite my best efforts, I don’t know everything about finances, stock markets in particular, so please don’t construe this as advice. It isn’t.