According to the Cambridge English Dictionary, a male chauvinist believes that he is superior to women and that women are naturally less important, intelligent, or able than men. This idea of chauvinism is a widely held belief in our societal culture and is more of a groupthink mentality. At one point in our history, this worldview was celebrated, but as women have gained more equality it has been assigned a negative connotation.
So, how do you know if your husband is a chauvinist? As a marriage progresses, sometimes we see a different side of our partners. Some of the behaviors that we see can be red flags, showing us our partner’s true beliefs and nature. Here are 10 signs that you’re dealing with a chauvinist.
1. He Doesn’t Appreciate You
Chauvinists have fixed beliefs that are often associated with overt or covert depreciation of women. If it feels like you are not appreciated in your relationship, your husband may believe that it is your role to take care of him, your children, or the home. He may not think your contributions need any thanks. It’s important to note there are distinct differences between chauvinists and narcissists. Dr. David Hawkins explains the differences well on his podcast Mad in Love. Take a listen here…
2. He’s Threatened by Your Independence
Does your husband want to control what you do and where you go? He may believe that he owns you and your time as his wife. A male chauvinist may prioritize his own time over yours. This can contribute to a power imbalance in the relationship.
3. He Talks Down to You
Does your husband belittle your intelligence? Wives of chauvinistic men may feel like they have to defer to their husbands and not appear more intelligent than them. In these situations, the husband believes that he is of special intelligence just because he is a man. While narcissists believe that they are always right, chauvinists feel that his intelligence stems from his manhood.
4. Your Success is Diminished
Maybe you just got a promotion at work and your husband isn’t thrilled. This may be because chauvinists believe that they should be the breadwinners and provide for their families. He may resent that you are less involved at home because of your career. You may even feel pressure to quit your job or take a position that is less demanding. Ultimately, a chauvinistic husband doesn’t see you as an equal partner.
5. He Has Very Traditional Values
While there is nothing wrong with being a traditional wife, if your husband expects it from you he may be a chauvinist. He may model your marriage on how he was raised and the way his mother was treated in her marriage. While this may be fine for some women, if you want more of an equal distribution of roles in the marriage, a traditional role may not be for you.
6. Feminism is a Threat to Him
If he is dismissive of any feminist ideas, he may be a chauvinist too. He might believe that where he is today is due to beliefs and any feminist ideas are a threat to his success. He may even say that feminists are chauvinistic themselves, putting down anyone who fights for gender equality. To him, feminists are trying to take over society.
7. He Handles All Your Finances
If your husband is the only one making financial decisions, it could be a sign that he’s a chauvinist. He may believe that you can’t navigate the complexities of handling money. If you have no say in major decisions like buying a house or investments, you should discuss your involvement with your husband. More importantly, if he doesn’t share your finances with you at all, it is a major red flag.
Dealing with a Chauvinistic Man
If you want more from your marriage, here are tips to save your relationship. Just because your husband has a chauvinistic mindset, doesn’t mean that the relationship can’t evolve. Make yourself heard, and if he doesn’t respect your opinions it may be time to seek professional help.
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Teri Monroe started her career in communications working for local government and nonprofits. Today, she is a freelance finance and lifestyle writer and small business owner. In her spare time, she loves golfing with her husband, taking her dog Milo on long walks, and playing pickleball with friends.
