Search Results for: budget

Find Your Frugal Tribe and Save Even More Money

January 23, 2020 By MelissaB 1 Comment

Who is your tribe? With whom do you surround yourself? Too often, our friends seem to be those we accidentally meet. Someone at the gym we clicked with or a co-worker we have a connection with. These friendships are usually made because we have at least one thing in common, something we both love that connects us.

If you’re of a money mind, perhaps being frugal and avoiding debt, you may find that most of your friends don’t share this trait with you. In real life, finding friends who share your passion for saving and pinching pennies can be very difficult.

Luckily, you can look online and find your frugal tribe and save even more money.

Find Your Frugal Tribe and Save Even More Money

Thanks to technology, there are many ways to find a frugal tribe.

YouTube Tribes

Find Your Frugal Tribe and Save Even More Money — Photo by NordWood Themes on Unsplash

My husband and I are looking to save money, especially on groceries, because we’ve been facing hundreds of dollars in medical expenses each month. The amount we spend on groceries is a place where we can reduce our expenses.

However, asking friends in real life what they spend on groceries and how they save money is a bit awkward, especially because most of my friends don’t seem to be money minded.

Enter YouTube. I discovered one woman on YouTube who feeds her family of 5 for $30 to $35 a week!! Insane, isn’t it? I know I’ll never get my grocery bill that low, but it is encouraging to know that there is definitely room to cut the grocery budget.

Facebook Tribes

The same vlogger I mentioned above also runs a Facebook group, 11,000+ members strong, solely devoted to frugal meals and groceries. I joined that group, and I’m learning a lot.

But you can find your frugal tribe in a range of topics. I belong to several Facebook groups–one on saving on groceries, one on frugal living in general, and one about frugal ways to send your kids to college.

Change Your Tribe, Change Your Habits

Here’s the thing. Whether you realize it or not, the people you surround yourself with, even if they are vastly different than you, affect your thoughts. If you’re around spendthrifts, you unconsciously become a little looser with your money because that’s what you see others doing. You may still be the most frugal person among your friends, but you’re likely less frugal than you used to be because of the influence of your peers.

Of course, the reverse is also true. Since watching YouTube videos and joining the Facebook group, I have slashed my grocery spending by 25% every month. Each day I learn new strategies for saving.

True, I don’t emulate a lot of what I learn. One vlogger on YouTube made two big meals at the beginning of the week and then fed her family the leftovers for the next four days. That definitely wouldn’t fly in my house, but it was a lesson in how to morph leftovers into other meals.

How to Find Your Tribe

If you can find a tribe in real life, that’s the best. If you have a frugal friend, perhaps she can help you connect with more frugal people.

However, if you don’t, the Internet is a great tool. The best starting place is YouTube and blogs. Facebook is a close second. Once you find one good frugal person, you can likely find more she is connected with. If you find someone via social media or YouTube, don’t be afraid to reach out electronically and say “hi.” Who knows, you may become friends in real life.

How do you find like-minded frugal friends?

Do Your Financial Splurges Embarrass You?

January 16, 2020 By MelissaB Leave a Comment

Do your financial splurges embarrass you? If they do, you may have noticed that some indulgences are more socially acceptable than others. Many people don’t see anything negative about someone buying a lot of clothes on clearance even though her closet is already full and she doesn’t need anything. Get a steal on clothes that you don’t even need, and you’ll likely be praised. In fact, others may try to emulate your deal seeking prowess. Yet, spend your money on something that benefits you but society sees as extravagant, and you may be shamed.

Bargain Shoppers or Money Wasters?

I have a relative who is very good at frugal grocery shopping. However, she is a little too good at it. She buys more “deals” than she needs, so much so that she had her husband build shelves in their basement for her to store the deals that don’t fit in their pantry and kitchen. Because she goes shopping for groceries every week, continually finds deals, and only has three members in her family, she’ll never get through all of the food deals she has bought before they expire. Yet, friends always are impressed by her grocery shopping skills.

Do Your Financial Splurges Embarrass You? — Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash

In our society, we see spending as little as possible per item as admirable even if we’re spending a lot over time for things we don’t need. In fact, in my relative’s case, these items may never be used and just tossed at a later date.

Splurges That Fit Your Life and Budget

However, if you hire a housekeeper because you have a busy schedule and a messy house stresses you out, people may judge you and argue that you’re spending your money frivolously. Yet, isn’t it just as frivolous to buy clothes and groceries that you don’t need?

The bottom line is that we all get to choose what to do with our money. If you’re financially responsible, you can choose to spend your money in ways that others may find frivolous.

Perhaps you hire a house cleaning service. Maybe you buy that sports car you’ve wanted since you were a teenager. Maybe you take the trip to Europe that you’ve always dreamed of.

Don’t feel the need to conform to society’s expectations and judgments.

If you and your spouse work full-time outside the home, and you’d benefit from more hours on the weekends spending time with your kids rather than cleaning the house, go ahead, spend your discretionary money on hiring a house cleaner.

If you feel that a traveling sports team will give your child an advantage when it comes to high school and college as well as personally and physically, go ahead and pay for the team and the travel if you need to travel with your child.

The bottom line is that you make the best decisions for you and your family. Maybe you have a minimalist wardrobe and cook at home every night so you can afford to splurge in other areas of your life. That’s okay.

You can spend your extra money any way you see fit. Society has a rigid standard of what compromises smart use of your money. However, only you and your spouse can determine what compromises smart use of your own money considering your lifestyle and finances.

What is one splurge that you have that you feel society frowns upon? How did you overcome societal judgement?

Is Debt Hiding a Form of Cheating?

January 13, 2020 By MelissaB Leave a Comment

When you think of infidelity, you likely think of one person sneaking out late at night or during the workday to have a romantic tryst with someone other than her spouse. But sexual infidelity is just one form of infidelity. Another type that is becoming increasingly common in our society is secretly spending money and going into debt without your spouse’s knowledge or consent. Yet, is hiding your spendthrift ways just irresponsible, or is debt hiding a form of cheating?

What Constitutes Cheating

According to the dictionary, to cheat is defined as, “act dishonestly or unfairly in order to gain an advantage, especially in a game or an examination.” With this definition, hiding debts or credit cards from your spouse is indeed cheating.

The Debt Is Almost Always Discovered

Depending how involved your spouse is in your finances, if you are secretly hiding debt, you may be able to hide it for a few months or years, but the deceit is almost always discovered. If you or your spouse has your credit pulled for any reason, the secret debt will be there in black and white.

Serious Ramifications for Your Relationship

At its core, hiding debt is about lying to your spouse. But not only are you lying, you’re putting your own and your spouse’s financial future in jeopardy. Even if you’ve put all of the secret debt in your name only, if you and your spouse divorce, your spouse may also be on the hook for that money. Even if you don’t divorce, paying down that debt takes money away from your financial goals.

Hiding Addictions?

If your spouse has racked up a significant debt without your knowledge, he may be hiding an even bigger secret. Some spouses hide gambling or drug addictions that go hand in hand with hiding increasing debt.

Is Debt Hiding a Form of Cheating? — Photo by Aysha Begum on Unsplash

I knew someone in college whose mother discovered that her father had secretly racked up $30K in credit card debt. She found out that much of that money was to support his alcohol habit. However, deeper probing lead her to discover that he had had a several years’ long affair that had resulted in a child. He paid his mistress ample child support every month, and to make up for that loss of money in his income, he’d resorted to secretly charging expenses.

Come Clean Now

If you have secret debt, the best thing to do is to come clean now. Your spouse will likely appreciate you honestly confessing rather than being caught at a later date. Plus, the sooner you confess, the sooner you can stop the financial damage. In fact, one survey found that most spouses wouldn’t consider a divorce over secret debt unless the debt was $15,000 or more.

Final Thoughts

Even if you say “no” to the question, “Is debt hiding a form of cheating?”, it is a form of deception that can have serious repercussions on your marriage. The best strategy is to confess now. Then, you and your partner can make a financial plan together and minimize the damage from the secret debt.