Every few weeks, you see an article that goes into great detail on the costs of having children. In these articles, they talk about how much it costs to have a child at the hospital, to buy diapers, formula, clothes, and even talk about future costs like sports, cars, and college. But, if there’s one thing that being a father has taught me, it’s to stop adding up the cost of children. Seriously. Here’s why.
If you are one of those people who truly wants to have children, it won’t matter what they cost. You’ll want them. And, you’ll gladly find a way to pay the cost. Sure, it might be nice to know some rough estimates so that you can prepare a little. That’s mostly sane. But, some people are actually using those cost estimates as a justification for not having children. They go on to claim that it’s just not the responsible thing to do (having children) if you can’t afford them. But, here’s the thing. Almost every single one of them can afford children. It will mean changing their lifestyle, sure, but they will be able to afford a child. The folks who truly cannot afford children, aren’t off in the corner with calculators, running the numbers. It won’t ever occur to them that they can’t afford children. They’ll do just what you should do, if you want children. Have them.
No doubt, it’s scary. The numbers run from the low 5 digits to the low 7 digits over a childs lifetime. And, don’t even begin to total up the added “cost” of the time spent at t-ball games, birthday parties, and other childrens events. (Shhh! Don’t tell anyone, but most of those are really good excuses to have a bit of fun yourself.) And it’s absolute torture to try and figure out and estimate what college will cost in 18 years. But, that’s the root of my advice to you. Just don’t. Don’t add up the costs. The truth of it is that it just doesn’t matter.
Children are an incredible blessing. The experience is invaluable and without a price tag. It’s not for everyone. But, if you want to have children, just do it. You’ll be glad you did, regardless of cost.
photo credit: JD | Photography
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Great advice, I couldn’t agree more. To say that you can not have children because you can’t afford them seems to me to be a quick dismissal of many opportunities that are available. I think the best way to work towards a goal, such as raising children, is to take small but effective steps enough in advance that the expenses don’t become over-whelming from the start. Setting aside a savings, in the right savings account, is the best way to establishing a strong foundation for the upbringing of a child.
Interesting post. We have been tracking our baby expenses and were considering posting on it. Thing is, we want to compare our green choices with the mainstream offerings.
If the dollars and cents arguments actually did anything, we all would be out of debt and have a very rosy future! Yet, the news media and people who research these things like to feature it. Like all things, the cost is going up! Having children is a responsibility and all parents should take the time to raise them. That is instill values and principles that will help them become useful and productive adults.
@FP Guys As long as that planning isn’t used as a crutch or an excuse, I think you’re right.
@SPF I don’t think there’s anything wrong with talking about savings/expenses of the different options. It just annoys me when people talk about how each kid will cost $$$$$$$!!!!!, how can anyone afford it! Logical, common sense talk about different options for diapers and formula are a different topic, in my opinion.
@Krant Exactly.
I always get a kick out of those numbers. The way I figure it with 6 kids each costing about $250,000, I am a millionaire and one rich dude. Plus, I bought low since they are worth much more than the $250,000 figure.
6?!? How do you keep up with them all? I have two and they run me ragged. And, they aren’t even in school yet, with all it’s activities and such! You’re definitely richer than any amount of money though!
I loved this post! It’s what I’ve been telling everyone…kids actually lower your expenses. When you have kids, it’s pretty difficult to go fine dining or go on spontaneous weekend getaways. That sounds like a bummer, but every time I look at my daughter (even when she’s misbehaving), the satisfaction is 1000x greater than a $40 steak.
Not to mention that they always seem to want to do the cheap activities. An hour of play in the park is way better than most anything you can pay for!
I agree. Children really are a blessing and well worth the money they cost. We work to live not live to work. We should spend our money on the things that matter, like kids.
We have always considered our 4 kids to be our true riches. Not only do you have the fun of helping them develop as people, but they give great joy even after they are grown. We would not trade a more expensive lifestyle for any of it. And then the grandkids come along and charm you all over again!
Yes! We have two and recently decided to have another. While finances played a small role in our choice, it was for the love and family connection and completing our family that we decided on one more. When I posted about the decision, comments were supportive, and agreed with you – the finances aren’t as important as the love and nurturing. http://thesavedquarter.com/2011/05/making-hard-choices-babies/
One person said it best: “There’s never an optimum time to have children with regards to finances; you could always be better off, live in a bigger house, have a better paid job. There is, however, an optimum time to have children with regards to time of life.”
You are absolutely right on; children ARE an incredible blessing!
Still, there comes a point in time where you have to decide how many blessings can you realistically afford to have, and the only way to do that is to, well, run the numbers.
If I didn’t run the numbers, I’d have ten kids instead of two. 😉
All the best,
Len
Len Penzo dot Com
Len, my dh kept asking when it would be enough. lol I told him I’d know. We ended up with 4 and they are wonderful. Now that they are grown we have much more money available, but we use it to have fun times with them. So worth it!
I was talking to a friend a few years back whose wife wanted four kids (they already had two). He said he was concerned if he was ever out of a job that having four would be a problem. I reasoned that if he found himself out of a job even two would be a problem and that it wasn’t a good enough reason if he really wanted to have more kids. The people using the cost excuse for not having children probably really shouldn’t have them anyway. Our predecessors had way bigger families on far lesser incomes and thanks to them we are all here today.
I sort of agree with here. You do raise a good point: if someone really wants a child (or children), the costs involved aren’t going to deter them much, if at all. On the other hand, as Len mentioned, you do need to have an idea of what you can expect to pay over their lifetime for planning purposes. (And perhaps, just perhaps, seeing how much money children can cost might just scare away those people, particularly teens, who would dive in without any sort of preparation or realization about how much of a commitment would be involved.)
Short version: I don’t have a problem with ‘Cost of Children’ type posts, although they might come across better if they also tried to focus more on the positives of having children (although, such positives tend to be hard to quantify…)
I am a mother of two beautiful preschoolers – they are my life, broke or not. Over a year ago I left my abusive husband, who still refuses to help support our children. With only a high school education and a new part-time job, we are living with my parents and need to move out on our own. Thanks to my husband, I have almost $50,000 of debt in my name, and no savings to fall back on. (B-R-O-K-E) Besides couponing and saving everywhere that I can, does anyone have advice on how to pick up the pieces and move forward to start a new life of our own?? Thanks!
People commenting here live a fairytale world… kids are a huge expense! if you don’t make alot of money then you shouldn’t be having them period! If you can’t provide the best of everything for your child then don’t even think about bringing them into this world!
I couldn’t agree more. We are fighting our way out of debt. We just had a third child and are planning to have one more. Some might call the decision irresponsible, at least financially. However, our dream is to have a big family. If we can also achieve financial semi-independence, well, then that will be awesome. You can’t calculate the cost of children without considering the value they add to your life.