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Is a Side Hustle Worth the Family Sacrifice?

June 20, 2022 By MelissaB Leave a Comment

Side Hustle Worth the Family Sacrifice

When our kids were young, my husband and I struggled financially. My husband was getting his Ph.D. and worked as a graduate assistant. I had just quit my full-time job because the cost of daycare in Chicago for two kids under two plus after-school care for our oldest would cost me as much as I was taking home each week. We survived for three years like this until my husband graduated and started working a regular job and a side hustle. I also worked a part-time job from home. Now that we’re 10 years removed from that situation, we recently discussed if a side hustle is worth the family sacrifice.

Some Times You Have No Choice

I want to acknowledge that sometimes, you have no choice. Sometimes you have to work as much as you can to cover rent, buy groceries, and care for your family. For my husband and I, the first few years after he graduated were like this. We were in debt because we had lived off his graduate assistantship and student loans those last three years, and we needed side hustles to try to get out of the hole we were in. However, we should have set a limit for how long we would work our side hustles.

Dave Ramsey’s Influence

Fifteen years ago, I loved listening to Dave Ramsey, and I bought into the idea that we should “live like no one else so later we can live like no one else.” I accepted the sacrifice that side hustles required because I was sure that if we worked hard, we’d end up on the other side, able to check off the baby steps.

Is A Side Hustle Worth the Family Sacrifice?

We are now at the point where we’ve completed baby steps 1, 2, and are on baby step 3. However, we’re also at the point where our kids are now 18, 13.5, and 12. We lost a lot of our kids’ lives to side hustles.

Is a side hustle worth the family sacrifice? As a parent with older children, I can answer for us, it was not worth it.

What We Sacrificed for the Side Hustle

Side hustles have a dark side that most people don’t talk about. For us, these were the major drawbacks:

We Were Exhausted

Is a Side Hustle Worth the Family Sacrifice?

After my husband got home from his regular job and side hustle, I would start my work after being with the kids all day. I would often work until midnight and get up at 5 or 6 a.m. That was not enough sleep.

My husband and I were both exhausted all the time.

We Were Grouchy

Because we were working so hard and exhausted, we were also grouchy. Raising young children can be challenging under the best circumstances, but when you’re exhausted and grouchy, it’s not good for anyone.

Final Thoughts

Is a side hustle worth the family sacrifice? For us, the answer was no. Rather than following Dave Ramsey’s advice to hustle until you’re completely out of debt, we should have set a limited time frame for our side hustle. We hustled for far too long, and I’m sorry we missed out on some opportunities to spend enjoyable time with our kids when they were little because of that.

Read More

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MelissaB
MelissaB

Melissa is a writer and virtual assistant. She earned her Master’s from Southern Illinois University, and her Bachelor’s in English from the University of Michigan. When she’s not working, you can find her homeschooling her kids, reading a good book, or cooking. She resides in New York, where she loves the natural beauty of the area.

www.momsplans.com/

Filed Under: budget, Children, Debt Reduction, Emergency Fund, Frugality, General Finance, Guru Advice, Married Money, pf books, Saving Tagged With: family, getting out of debt, marriage, side hustle

Should You Give Financial Support to In-Laws?

December 7, 2020 By MelissaB Leave a Comment

Financial Support to In-Laws

Watching a loved one struggle financially can be painful.  If you have the money, you may want to step in and give them financial assistance.  However, before doing that, carefully consider.  As Dave Ramsey is fond of saying, “The borrower is slave to the lender.”  The last thing you want to do is have a family member see you as a master.  Nothing ruins relationships faster.  The situation gets even more complicated when you consider giving financial support to in-laws.

Reasons Not to Give Financial Support to In-Laws

There are two main reasons why you should decline giving financial support to in-laws.

Can Affect the Parent-Child Relationship

As mentioned above, one family member giving money to another family member, especially in the form of a loan, more often than not puts strain on the relationship.  That strain gets stronger when a child gives money to a parent.  There’s something about the imbalance of the child being in a better position than the parent that causes strain and embarrassment to both parties.

As much as you may want to help your parents or in-laws, doing so may not be worth the risk you’re taking to the quality of your relationship.

Can Affect the Spousal Relationship

When you’re married and discussing giving financial support to in-laws or your own parents, you’re adding another layer of complexity.  The last thing you want is to give money to your parents only to find out that your spouse resents giving money to her in-laws.  She may feel that the money you’re giving to your parents could be better used for your own family or your children.  This feeling is likely to fester if you’re routinely giving financial support to in-laws.

Remember, money issues are the leading cause of divorce.  If you feel lending your in-laws or parents money will cause financial strain, look at other options.  Try to find other ways to help your parents get back on their feet without risking both the parent-child relationship and the spousal relationship.  After all, if you end up divorcing over this type of issue, you’ll be even less likely to be able to help your parents after an expensive divorce.

Give a Gift Instead

Financial Support for In-Laws
Photo by Esther Ann on Unsplash

If you are financially secure and your spouse is onboard with the plan, why not consider giving your in laws a financial gift?  If your in-laws fall on hard times because of job loss or a health issues, give them a set sum once rather than letting them borrow the money.

However, I would caution against regularly giving them money.  Most people fall on hard times at least once in their lives.  However, if your in-laws regularly request money, likely something in their financial lifestyle needs to be adjusted so that they can be self-sufficient.

Final Thoughts

Giving financial support to in-laws is a risky proposition and not recommended to maintain healthy relationships.  However, if your in-laws fall on hard times, you might instead consider giving them a one-time gift.

Read More

How to Handle Financially Toxic Parents

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MelissaB
MelissaB

Melissa is a writer and virtual assistant. She earned her Master’s from Southern Illinois University, and her Bachelor’s in English from the University of Michigan. When she’s not working, you can find her homeschooling her kids, reading a good book, or cooking. She resides in New York, where she loves the natural beauty of the area.

www.momsplans.com/

Filed Under: Giving, Married Money Tagged With: divorce, family, family finances, family relationships, Giving

How to Handle Someone Who Gives Too Many Gifts

September 28, 2020 By MelissaB 8 Comments

First world problems, right?  How can you complain about someone who gives too many gifts?

Believe it or not, that’s something I’ve struggled with during the holiday season.  I have one relative who, simply put, is buying too many gifts for me, my husband and my kids.

Handle Someone Who Gives Too Many Gifts

How to Handle Someone Who Gives Too Many Gifts

If this relative was independently wealthy, that would be one thing, but I know that she’s also trying to save money for some home repairs and a trip of a lifetime to Europe.  I wish she would buy each of us just one gift and put the rest of the money in her vacation fund.

Do you also have problems with someone in your life who buys too many presents?

If so, there are things you can do.  (Though you’ll probably want to implement most of these suggestions AFTER this holiday season.)

 

Set a Gift Giving Limit

Most people buy gifts because they want to be nice, and they want to do something special for you.  However, people can overstep their bounds.  This year between all of my relatives who like to give gifts to our kids, the kids are getting more than enough presents.  Combined with the gifts my husband and I were going to give, my kids were going to have way too many gifts.

I set aside some of the gifts I was going to give; I’ll use them next year.  I also had my mom set aside some of her gifts for birthdays.  I’ve also asked some of the relatives to set a limit of one or two gifts in future years so that our children are not drowning in presents.

Accept and Be Appreciative

Another idea is to simply accept the many gifts and be appreciative.  After all, as Trent Hamm, guest blogger on The Christian Science Monitor, points out, “These gifts are given out of love.”  Hamm, who struggles with his family members giving his kids too many gifts, explains, “People give our kids gifts because they love them so much and it’s their way of expressing it.  For me, telling them  not to do so is akin to saying, ‘Please don’t express your love and caring for our children.’”

Handle Someone Who Gives Too Many Gifts
Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

If someone like a grandparent routinely goes overboard with the gift giving, you can reduce the number of presents that you get your kids and save money.  You can just reap the benefits of saving money, or you can take the cash that you saved by not buying so many gifts and instead give the cash as a present to the prodigious gift giver.  Everything comes full circle this way.

Direct the Giver’s Generosity

I remember when I was little, my mom’s friend wanted to get me a Christmas present.  She got me Green Eggs and Ham since I was a prolific reader, but  I was well beyond that book.  Too often, people try to be generous by giving a present, but the gift they give is not necessarily what the recipient needs or wants.

You can direct the gift giver’s generosity by steering her to a wish list.  You could create it on Amazon, and then you would be able to keep track of what has been bought, and you could also have some say in the plethora of presents coming into your house.

Final Thoughts

Learning how to handle someone who gives too many gifts requires tact and patience.  While the situation may be frustrating now, the time will likely come when that person, especially if it is a grandparent, will be gone, and you’ll wish you had this problem.  Be grateful, and use one of the suggestions above to try to stem the tide of gifts, even if that person isn’t willing to change.

Read More

How to Turn Unwanted Christmas Gifts Into Cash

5 Best Subscription Gifts for Kids

Easy Ways to Earn, Make, and Give Free or Cheap Gifts

Do you struggle with well-meaning relatives buying too many gifts?  If so, how do you handle the situation?

 

MelissaB
MelissaB

Melissa is a writer and virtual assistant. She earned her Master’s from Southern Illinois University, and her Bachelor’s in English from the University of Michigan. When she’s not working, you can find her homeschooling her kids, reading a good book, or cooking. She resides in New York, where she loves the natural beauty of the area.

www.momsplans.com/

Filed Under: Giving, ShareMe Tagged With: family, family relationships, gifts, Giving, holidays

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