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10 Clever Ways to Say No When Someone Asks to Borrow Money

January 14, 2025 By Latrice Perez Leave a Comment

borrowing money
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A report from the CFPB (Consumer Financial Protection Board) reveals that nearly one in five U.S. adults receive financial assistance from friends or family, while up to one in three provide support to others. Navigating requests to borrow money can be tricky. While it’s natural to want to help, lending money can sometimes strain relationships or disrupt your financial goals.

Saying no doesn’t mean you’re selfish—it means you’re setting boundaries to protect your finances and emotional well-being. The key is to decline respectfully while maintaining your relationships. Here are 10 clever ways to say no when someone asks to borrow money, offering tactful yet firm responses.

“I Have a Policy of Not Lending Money to Friends or Family”

This approach removes personal judgment and frames your decision as a general rule. By stating that you don’t lend money to anyone, you’re less likely to offend the person asking. Emphasize that this policy helps you avoid potential conflicts and maintain strong relationships. You can explain that you’ve seen others struggle after mixing money and personal ties, so you choose to avoid it altogether. Most people will understand and appreciate your transparency.

“My Budget Is Tight Right Now.”

Sometimes, honesty about your own financial situation is the best way to decline. Letting someone know that your budget doesn’t allow for lending demonstrates that you’re also managing your resources carefully. This response shows you’re not singling them out but are simply unable to help due to your current financial constraints. Many people respect when others take their financial health seriously. You can even share your own money-saving efforts to reinforce your reasoning.

“I Can’t Commit to That, but I’d Be Happy to Help in Another Way.”

Offering alternative support is a thoughtful way to decline without leaving the person empty-handed. For example, you might help them brainstorm other solutions, like finding local resources or temporary work opportunities. This shows you care and are willing to invest your time, even if you can’t lend money. It can also lead to creative problem-solving that’s beneficial for them in the long run. People often value emotional and practical support as much as financial assistance.

“I Don’t Feel Comfortable Mixing Money and Friendship.”

This is a direct yet considerate way to explain your stance. Highlight that maintaining a good relationship is your top priority and that lending money could create tension or misunderstandings. By framing it as a matter of principle, you avoid making the person feel singled out. This response also emphasizes that your decision stems from respect for your relationship. Often, people appreciate honesty when it’s paired with kindness.

“I’m Focusing on My Own Financial Goals Right Now.”

Communicating your financial priorities can help set boundaries while showing that your decision is not personal. You can explain that you’re currently saving for a big purchase, building an emergency fund, or paying off debts. This makes it clear that you have your own responsibilities to manage. Sharing your goals can even inspire the other person to reflect on their financial situation. It’s a subtle way to encourage them to take ownership of their finances without being judgmental.

“I’m Not in a Position to Lend Money Right Now.”

This straightforward response works well when you want to be honest without providing too much detail. It shows that your financial situation doesn’t allow for lending at the moment. This neutral answer avoids offending the person asking while still setting a firm boundary. Sometimes, simplicity is the best approach when dealing with sensitive topics. The key is to deliver this response with kindness to maintain goodwill.

“I’ve Had Bad Experiences Lending Money in the Past.”

Sharing a personal story about a negative experience with lending money can help justify your decision. Explain how it caused stress or strained relationships and how you’ve learned to avoid similar situations. Most people will respect your decision when they understand that it’s based on past challenges. This response is relatable and conveys that you’re acting in your own best interest. It can also serve as a gentle lesson about the risks of borrowing from friends or family.

“I’d Love to Help, but I Have Other Commitments.”

This response emphasizes your willingness to support them in spirit, even if you can’t do so financially. You can mention other obligations, like supporting your family or donating to charities, to explain why you’re unable to lend money. By showing that your resources are already allocated elsewhere, you make it clear that it’s not personal. This approach is polite and shifts the focus away from the immediate request. It also reinforces that you’re managing your finances responsibly.

“I Don’t Want to Put Our Relationship at Risk.”

This response highlights your concern for maintaining a healthy relationship. Let them know that you value your friendship or family connection too much to let money come between you. Explain that financial matters can often create misunderstandings or conflicts, and you’d rather avoid that risk. By focusing on the relationship, you’re framing your decision as an act of care. People often appreciate this honesty, even if it’s not what they want to hear.

“I’m Following a Strict Financial Plan.”

This response works well if you want to emphasize discipline and responsibility. Explain that you’re adhering to a budget or financial strategy that doesn’t allow for lending. This shows that you’re serious about your financial goals and aren’t making exceptions for anyone. By framing it as part of a larger plan, you remove the personal aspect of the decision. It’s a clear yet respectful way to decline a request.

Protect Your Financial Boundaries with Confidence

Setting boundaries when it comes to lending money is an essential part of maintaining financial health and preserving relationships. These strategies allow you to say no in a way that is respectful, kind, and firm. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your financial stability over someone else’s request. Practice these responses so you’re prepared the next time someone asks to borrow money.

What excuse has worked well for you when someone asked to borrow money? Share in the comments below.

Read More:

10 Steps to Take When You Are Broke and Need Money Now

Do Payday Loans Affect Your Credit?

 

Latrice Perez

Latrice is a dedicated professional with a rich background in social work, complemented by an Associate Degree in the field. Her journey has been uniquely shaped by the rewarding experience of being a stay-at-home mom to her two children, aged 13 and 5. This role has not only been a testament to her commitment to family but has also provided her with invaluable life lessons and insights.

As a mother, Latrice has embraced the opportunity to educate her children on essential life skills, with a special focus on financial literacy, the nuances of life, and the importance of inner peace.

Filed Under: personal finance Tagged With: borrowing money, financial boundaries, Financial Stability, money lending, money tips, Personal Finance, relationship advice, saying no

How to Deal with a Person Who Keeps on Asking for Money

November 8, 2021 By MelissaB 8 Comments

Most of us know a family member or friend who is always asking for money. They may start their request with a typical line, “I hate to ask, but I have a financial situation and wondered if you could help?” If they’ve asked you many times before, they may also add, “I promise, this will be the last time I ask.” Sound familiar? If you have experienced this, here’s how to deal with this type of person in your life.

Recognize Your Role in the Problem

If you have a person like this in your life, recognize that you’ve enabled this person to feel dependent on you. You do this by lending the person money over and over again even though the person repeatedly shows that she is financially irresponsible.

I don’t point this out to make you feel bad but rather to help you recognize your role in this cycle. However, you can take steps now to end the dependency and become part of the solution rather than the problem.

How to Deal with a Person Who Keeps on Asking for Money

The first step is to decide that you won’t allow the person to take advantage of you anymore. Instead, try one of these tactics.

Firmly Say No

The next time a friend or family member asks for money, firmly but nicely tell him that you can’t lend him money anymore. Be confident in your delivery. If you say, “I’m sorry, I just can’t lend you money right now,” or “This week my money is tight, so I can’t give you anything,” you leave open the prospect of giving him money in the future, and the person will ask again next week.

You must instead clearly say that you will no longer be able to help him out financially. Then, he has no choice but to receive and understand your message. He may ask you again at a later time, but perhaps he won’t be as persistent in his request.

As you continue to firmly say no to his every request, he will stop asking. However, don’t be surprised if he becomes angry with you and perhaps even stops speaking to you for a time.

Manage Her Finances

If you’re close to the person, perhaps offer to manage her finances and teach her good financial habits. My roommate in college, Jenny, was terrible with money and regularly asked her friends for handouts. One of our friends, Simone, was studying to be an accountant. She offered to manage Jenny’s finances. Jenny happily agreed.

For six months, Simone managed Jenny’s finances. She set up a budget for her and gave her money for spending, gas, groceries, etc. Simone paid the rest of Jenny’s bills with Jenny’s money. Once Jenny got used to the system and having a limit, Simone taught her to budget her money and pay her bills herself. By senior year, Jenny was a budgeting pro and even sometimes offered to pay the tab when she was out with friends.

Person Keeps Asking for Money
Photo by Jarritos Mexican Soda on Unsplash

For this arrangement to work, you must be close to the person, and you must both trust one another. In addition, the person has to want to improve their financial situation. If the person doesn’t have any interest in managing her money, you’ll just waste your time.

Offer Him a Financial Course

If you don’t want to manage his money (which is understandable), you could offer to pay for him to take a financial course. Financial Peace University is a Dave Ramsey course that has helped many people turn their financial lives around. However, it’s not the only course available. Find one that will best resonate with the person and that you can afford to pay for.

When you make this gesture, you’re not refusing the person outright. You’re refusing to enable the person, but you’re offering to pay for a class and invest in him and his education. This shows that you want to keep the relationship strong.

Why You Should Stop Lending Money

Saying no to someone who repeatedly asks for money can feel awkward and embarrassing. However, you should say no for several reasons.

You Work Hard and Should Keep Your Money

You likely work hard for your income. Giving a portion of that money to someone who mismanages her own money isn’t fair to you. If you choose to donate the money, that’s your decision. However, if you give this person money out of guilt or because you feel bad saying no, do yourself a favor and value yourself, your time, and your money more. You’ll feel better when you do.

Avoid Spousal Disputes

The number one cause of divorce is money disputes. If you continually give money to someone in your life, chances are your spouse is not happy about this. Your spouse will likely be much happier if you learn to say no to the person. Then, you can use your money for your own family—for vacations, retirement savings, college savings, etc.

Let the Person Become Independent

You may feel bad when you say no. You may wonder how she’ll survive without the money she needs for whatever pressing emergency she has now. She’ll probably be angry with you and lash out.

However, take the time to look in the future. Imagine how much happier and stronger this person will be in a year when she is no longer looking for handouts and knows how to manage her own money. She’ll be more confident and feel better about herself. By saying no, you’re helping her grow as a person.

Final Thoughts

Saying no when a person keeps on asking for money isn’t easy. However, remember that you’re doing the right thing for yourself, your spouse, and the person who keeps on asking. When you set clear boundaries, you strengthen your relationships. If the person doesn’t understand this, you may, unfortunately, lose the relationship. If she does understand and makes changes, she’ll thank you later.

Read More

How Long Are Your Parents Financially Responsible for You?

How to Handle Financially Toxic Parents

Creative Dating Tips When Broke

MelissaB
MelissaB

Melissa is a writer and virtual assistant. She earned her Master’s from Southern Illinois University, and her Bachelor’s in English from the University of Michigan. When she’s not working, you can find her homeschooling her kids, reading a good book, or cooking. She resides in New York, where she loves the natural beauty of the area.

www.momsplans.com/

Filed Under: budget, Children, General Finance, Married Money Tagged With: borrowing, borrowing money, family relationships, friends

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