Beating Broke

Personal Finance from the Broke Perspective

Long Term Care: Are you Prepared?

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When we are young, our parents take care of us.  From the time we are mere babes, they wash us, feed us, clothe us, and give us the love and nurturing that we need to grow up into adults.  Even as young adults, our parents are often right there to help us get back up if we fall down.

As our parents age, there may become a time where we have to return those favors, and care for them.  For many, this will likely mean an independent living arrangement of some sort that may eventually become a full nursing home situation.  Not only can that transition be a very expensive one, but it can also be a very emotional one.  While I’m not sure that there is any way to prepare for the emotional toll caring for your parents brings, you can prepare for the financial toll it brings.  We’re financially minded folks, after all, and believe in preparation for all financial burdens.

If you’ve ever become a parent, you likely remember the months leading up to the first childs’ birth.  Baby showers, shopping trips, and plenty of DIY crib and nursery work. People come out of the woodwork to give you things that “every baby needs” or to give you advice on how to deal with “fussy babies.”  All of that serves one real purpose.  To prepare us for the coming of a dependent child.  But, we don’t have any elderly showers.  And we don’t usually know even a month or two in advance to do any shopping or DIY projects when our parents are suddenly in our care.  In most cases, we can’t be totally prepared.  But, there’s no reason that we should be totally caught off-guard.

How do you prepare for the long term care of a parent?

In a way, it’s not that much different from preparing for any life changing event.  There are certain things that we can do ahead of time to try and make any necessary transitions as easy as possible.

Know the possible costs.

There are plenty of ways to find the costs.  Personally, I’d start with something like the tool below.  The costs are going to vary some based on your city and whether you plan on having your parents live in a facility or in your home, but you can get a really close estimate from something like that.

If you think that your parents will need you sooner rather than later, you’ll likely want as accurate of an estimate as possible.  Do your research on the facilities in your area, and then call a few of them to get an idea of how much it the costs will be.

Knowing the costs of long term care aren’t the only concern, however.  Knowing your parents financial situation, and how they feel about the options they may have is something that you need to be concerned about.  For instance, my dad has always said that when it comes time for him to move into a nursing home, he’d rather we just drove him out into the mountains and shot him.  That’s an extreme example. A true one, but extreme just the same.  But, if you really care about your parents, and want what’s best for them, that has to include what their wishes are as well.

Your parents financial situation can sometimes be a touchy subject as well.   It’s something you’ll need to know, though.  Someone has to pay for the care, and if your parents aren’t financially stable enough to do so, it’s up to you and any siblings to figure it out.  Know what your parents finances look like ahead of time.  If there’s any question about whether your parents are getting close to needing care, get involved and get it figured out.

I’m not an expert on the subject.  But, as my parents age, and as my friends’ parents age, it’s a topic that is increasingly coming up in my social circles.  I do know enough to know that it can get complicated.  I’ve seen it get complicated.  I’d love to hear from any of you out there who have been through this process and have stories to share with us.  Sometimes that’s the best way to learn about something.  So, share your stories in the comments below!

Evaluate the True Price of Dining Out to Save Money

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Our culture seems to be one that is centered around dining out.  When you are younger, you meet friends at a restaurant for a night out and to chat.  As you get older and have a family, you may go out to eat because time is short between working, raising a family, helping with homework, and doing housework, among other things.  Some people are extreme and eat out for every meal because they do not like to cook or have not learned to cook.  This is so commonplace in the American culture, that we don’t often question these expenses.  Instead of just assuming that going out to eat or grabbing take out is a necessity, evaluate the cost of your restaurant purchase.

It has been a stressful day, and you would like nothing more than a night off from the kitchen.  You decide to buy take out for your family of 4 and spend $25.  True, you did buy yourself a night out of the kitchen by avoiding cooking and washing the dishes that you would use.  Yet, ask yourself, would you have paid $25 to hire someone to come to your kitchen for an hour that night, make a meal and do the few dishes that you used?  No?  Well, that is essentially what you did by picking up take out.

Riced out.

I use this way of thinking frequently now to save myself from spending money eating out.  My family ate out by habit until I started evaluating the true cost.  I recently quit my job and have been doing freelance work from home.  Several of my smaller jobs each pay $20 a month.  Recently, I wanted to go out for sushi, which is a weakness not only of mine, but of my husband and kids.  When our family of 5 goes out for sushi, it typically runs us $55 to $60.  I asked myself if one meal of sushi was worth doing 3 additional small jobs to recoup the $60?  Although the jobs do not take much time weekly, I would have to do the three jobs for a month to recoup the money spent on sushi.  Was it worth it?  No.  We did not go out that night.

The idea of evaluating life energy for consumption is not new.  It was the subject of the book, Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robins.  The overall principal is to look at the amount of time and money it would take to recoup an expense.  I try to use this in my life normally, but I find it especially effective when considering the often inflated price of dining out.  Take the sushi dinner for $60—my family’s weekly grocery budget is $100.  Is that one meal worth half a week’s groceries?  Definitely not.

I am not saying we shouldn’t go out.  My family still enjoys going out, but I am suggesting we should stop thinking of dining out as something routine and to be done daily or several times a week.  Instead, think of dining out as a treat and something to be planned and enjoyed.

photo credit: dslrninja

Stop Adding Up the Cost of Children!

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Playtime under the sun...
Every few weeks, you see an article that goes into great detail on the costs of having children.  In these articles, they talk about how much it costs to have a child at the hospital, to buy diapers, formula, clothes, and even talk about future costs like sports, cars, and college.  But, if there’s one thing that being a father has taught me, it’s to stop adding up the cost of children.  Seriously.  Here’s why.

If you are one of those people who truly wants to have children, it won’t matter what they cost.  You’ll want them.  And, you’ll gladly find a way to pay the cost.  Sure, it might be nice to know some rough estimates so that you can prepare a little.  That’s mostly sane.  But, some people are actually using those cost estimates as a justification for not having children.  They go on to claim that it’s just not the responsible thing to do (having children) if you can’t afford them.  But, here’s the thing.  Almost every single one of them can afford children.  It will mean changing their lifestyle, sure, but they will be able to afford a child.  The folks who truly cannot afford children, aren’t off in the corner with calculators, running the numbers.  It won’t ever occur to them that they can’t afford children.  They’ll do just what you should do, if you want children.  Have them.

No doubt, it’s scary.  The numbers run from the low 5 digits to the low 7 digits over a childs lifetime.  And, don’t even begin to total up the added “cost” of the time spent at t-ball games, birthday parties, and other childrens events. (Shhh! Don’t tell anyone, but most of those are really good excuses to have a bit of fun yourself.) And it’s absolute torture to try and figure out and estimate what college will cost in 18 years.  But, that’s the root of my advice to you.  Just don’t.  Don’t add up the costs.  The truth of it is that it just doesn’t matter.

Children are an incredible blessing.  The experience is invaluable and without a price tag.  It’s not for everyone.  But, if you want to have children, just do it.  You’ll be glad you did, regardless of cost.

photo credit: JD | Photography