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How To Prepare Your Teens to Live On Their Own

December 30, 2019 By MelissaB Leave a Comment

Sure, you love your children, but there’s no doubt that raising them is expensive.  Many parents miss their kids when they move out, but they’re glad to be rid of a heavy financial obligation. . .unless the adult child moves back in.  Suddenly, aging parents may find themselves paying for Junior again, negatively affecting their finances.  One of the best ways to guard against that is to make sure Junior is ready to responsibly handle his finances when he flies the coop.

How to Prepare Your Teens to Live on Their Own

Since our son was about 12 years old, he has been eagerly anticipating moving out and living on his own when he turns 18.  We want to make sure that when he does move out (whether that’s at 18 or a year or two later), that he can live independently and sustainably.  These are some of the skills we’re working on.

How to Prepare Your Teens To Live On Their Own

There are some essential skills your child should master before moving out of the home:

Have a Strong Work Ethic

Some teens leave the nest never having worked a job or done chores around the house.  Kids who leave home without a strong work ethic are less likely to successfully transition from childhood to adulthood, meaning they have a higher chance of ending up back at home.

Teach children from the time they’re young to work for the things they want.  This becomes even more important as they reach the teen years.  Rather than just give your child $20 when she wants to head to the movies with friends, make her work for her money by doing a job around the house or helping a neighbor with a task.

Budget and Handle Money Responsibly

How to Prepare Your Teens To Live on Their Own

Many an adult child has moved back home saddled with debt from the college years.  To avoid this, in the high school years, teach your child how to budget.  Show her how you budget for the family and have her create her own budget with the money she earns from an allowance or part-time job.  Teach her to save for an emergency fund and to save for upcoming expenses.

Just as important as teaching her how to budget is to teach her how to use money responsibly.  One way to do start doing this is to give your 13 or 14 year-old child the money you would normally spend for her clothes for the season.  Let your child buy her own clothes with the money, and she will start learning how far a dollar stretches.  Another way to do this is to let her buy her own food.

Buy and Cook Food

How to Prepare Your Teens to Live on Their Own
Photo by Andy Chilton on Unsplash

When our son was 15.5 years old, we decided to give him a weekly grocery budget and let him do all of his own grocery shopping and cooking.  This has been interesting to watch.  The first few weeks, he ate too many carbs because they were cheap and he thought they would fill him up, which he quickly found to not be true.

The next few weeks, he had a meat heavy diet, which left him feeling sluggish.

The weeks after that, he started finding healthy recipes with balanced nutrition.  He did all of this with minimal input from us.  He learned by doing and experiencing.

Plus, he’s learning not only how to grocery shop wisely, but also how to meal plan and cook, essential skills for when he leaves the home.

Final Thoughts

Obviously, there are many steps to get a teen ready to leave the nest, but right now in our family, we’re focusing on these three as they seem most important for a teen to be able to successfully live on their own.

What suggestions would you add for how to prepare your teens to live on their own?

 

MelissaB
MelissaB

Melissa is a writer and virtual assistant. She earned her Master’s from Southern Illinois University, and her Bachelor’s in English from the University of Michigan. When she’s not working, you can find her homeschooling her kids, reading a good book, or cooking. She resides in New York, where she loves the natural beauty of the area.

www.momsplans.com/

Filed Under: budget, Children, Married Money Tagged With: budget, children, debt, emergency fund, money, Saving

Reasons To Continue Family Outings and Vacations While Paying Down Debt

December 16, 2019 By MelissaB Leave a Comment

If you listen to Dave Ramsey, you may have heard his admonishment that you should put all extras and luxuries in your life on hold until your debt is paid off.  “Live like no one else so later you can live like no one else” is his mantra.  I would agree with him if you can pay off your debt in a year or less.  However, I disagree with him if it will take you several years to pay down your debt.  There are many reasons to continue family outings and vacations while paying down debt.

Your Children Are Growing

My husband and I dug ourselves out of consumer debt about five years ago.  Then, three years ago when one of our children started suddenly having medical and behavioral issues, we found ourselves back in debt thanks to doctor and psychiatrist visits.  There were a good 18 months where we were seeing specialists and searching for answers, and we went back into consumer debt.  There is also still student loan debt we’re working on.

We stopped taking any vacations and going on family outings because we thought that all of our money should go on our debt.  We did this for about two years, and then we realized that our kids are growing up.  Our teenager will soon be an adult and out of the house.  We only get this time with our kids once!

Reasons to Continue Family Outings and Vacations When Paying Down Debt
Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

Of course, we do our best to save money on family outings, but spending time with our children is now more of a priority, even if we still have debt.

Your Family Is Aging

Our families live far from where we do, so when we started focusing heavily on paying down our debt, we stopped traveling.  We went 3.5 years without seeing my extended family.  During that time, one uncle died and another got lung cancer.  My uncles and aunts are all in their 70s and 80s now.  I know there won’t be many times left when we can visit with them.

Photo by Sven Brandsma on Unsplash

This fall, my daughters and I made the 2,000 mile trek to visit my extended family, doing what we could to save money.  We drove instead of flying; we packed our own food on the trip so we wouldn’t have to eat out; and we stayed at hotels where we could save 20% or more.  I’m very glad we made the trip, and we plan to do it again next year.

You Are Creating Memories

As I get older and see my extended family age and my children grow up, I see the importance of making memories with those I love.

I belong to several financial groups on Facebook, and recently on one, a man posted that for the last four years, even though he had debt, he and his family made the decision to take a vacation once a year.  They always included the man’s mother.  She passed away this Thanksgiving.  He wrote that he’s so glad he took the time to vacation with his family and his mother.  He’ll always have those memories, even if it will take him about a year longer to pay down his debt.

Of course, you should pay off your debt as quickly as possible to improve your finances.  However, keep in mind that nothing is guaranteed in life.  There are very good reasons to continue family outings and vacations when paying down debt.

MelissaB
MelissaB

Melissa is a writer and virtual assistant. She earned her Master’s from Southern Illinois University, and her Bachelor’s in English from the University of Michigan. When she’s not working, you can find her homeschooling her kids, reading a good book, or cooking. She resides in New York, where she loves the natural beauty of the area.

www.momsplans.com/

Filed Under: Children, Debt Reduction, Married Money, Travel

Why You Should Let Your Teen Make Money Mistakes

December 2, 2019 By MelissaB 1 Comment

Why You Should Let Your Teen Make Money Mistakes

As parents, we want to help our children avoid the mistakes we made.  This is especially true with money mistakes as they can set people back years from achieving their financial goals.  (Sad to say, but some adults never achieve their financial goals.)  However, there are several reasons why you should let your teen make money mistakes.

My Biggest Money Mistake

Teen Money Mistakes
Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash

I made so many money mistakes when I was young!  Probably the costliest one was transferring to a university for the winter semester and choosing a dorm room.  I called my future dorm roommate just to say “hi”, and she was so rude and gruff!  Because I was shy and fearful about living with someone, I backed out of staying in the dorm, but I couldn’t get a refund on my money.  I paid for that dorm for four months, and I never lived there!!

My mom never said anything; she let me make my own choice, and that decision was certainly one I learned from.

Watching My Son Make Money Mistakes

My son is now 15, and while he used to be a great saver, over the last few years, he’s become a spendthrift.  If he has any money in his pocket, he will try to find a way to spend it, often on items he doesn’t even need.

I live in fear that he’ll move out, get a credit card, and rack up incredible debt, which will take years to pay off or cause him to file for bankruptcy.

Why You Should Let Your Teen Make Money Mistakes

As hard as it may be, as parents, sometimes the best thing we can do is step aside and let our teens live their lives as they inch closer to independence.

Better They Learn as Teens Rather Than Adults

Keep in mind, it’s better to let our teens make money mistakes now than as adults.  My son is trying to save for a school-sponsored trip to visit some college campuses.  However, he’s struggling with this goal because any time he makes some money, he feels compelled to spend it.

The worst-case scenario here is that he won’t be able to go on the trip.  As an adult living on his own, he’ll face much more serious consequences if he can’t save his money. The worst-case scenario may be that he doesn’t make rent and is evicted.  I’d much rather he miss the trip this year and be envious of those who did get to go.  Hopefully that will motivate him in the future to save for large goals.

Experience Is the Best Teacher

While our toddlers soaked up every word we said and thought we were the experts, our teens our cynical and eager to break free from parental control.  Simply put, they don’t like to listen to us.  Sometimes as parents the best we can do is not say anything and let natural consequences take their course.

Think back to your own teenage years.  Did you learn best from your parent lecturing you or the experience of making your own decisions and dealing with the consequences?

When your teen stumbles after a money mistake, don’t swoop in with an “I told you so!”  No one appreciates that.  Instead, be a sounding board and encourage them to make smarter decisions in the future.

Watching our teens make money mistakes isn’t easy, but as they crave more and more independence, letting them experience life, and fail sometimes, is exactly what they need.

MelissaB
MelissaB

Melissa is a writer and virtual assistant. She earned her Master’s from Southern Illinois University, and her Bachelor’s in English from the University of Michigan. When she’s not working, you can find her homeschooling her kids, reading a good book, or cooking. She resides in New York, where she loves the natural beauty of the area.

www.momsplans.com/

Filed Under: budget, Children, Financial Mistakes, Married Money

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