Beating Broke

Personal Finance from the Broke Perspective

Why You Should Allow Teens to Have Natural Consequences

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Allow Teens to Have Natural Consequences

As parents, we often don’t want to allow teens to have natural consequences. However, that’s the worst thing we can do for them. Every decision a human being makes has consequences—either good or bad or a mixture of both. We learn from these consequences and hopefully make better decisions next time if the results are negative or the same type of decisions if the outcomes are positive. If parents don’t allow teens to have natural consequences, we enable them and deny them essential learning experiences.

Why You Should Allow Teens to Have Natural Consequences

Older teenagers are navigating the adult world and learning what is acceptable and what isn’t. In addition, they realize that they can now make their own decisions and live with the consequences.

How My Mom Allowed Me to Have Natural Consequences

The summer I was 17, my friend and I booked a flight for January from our homes in Michigan to my grandparents’ winter home in Florida. We thought flying to Florida in the middle of winter would be a relaxing way to start the new year. I paid for the ticket myself with money from my summer job.

What neither of us knew was that my friend’s life was about to go off the rails. She started using drugs heavily, and by the fall, we were no longer friends. I dreaded the upcoming trip to Florida. I didn’t even talk to my friend anymore. How could I stay with her at my grandparents’ home for ten days?

I asked my mom if I should call our doctor and see if he would write a medical excuse for why I could not go on the trip so I could get my money back for the ticket. She said I could try. When I called the doctor’s office, the receptionist chastised me for asking the doctor to lie. I was embarrassed and learned my lesson. I flew to Florida with my friend. The trip didn’t go as badly as I worried it might, and that turned out to be the last time we spent together.

How My Friend Is Allowing Her Daughter Natural Consequences

I was reminded of my own natural consequences story while watching my friend, Sandy, interact with her daughter, Julia. Sandy doesn’t have much money to pay for Julia’s college, so throughout Julia’s high school career, Sandy advised her to apply for scholarships. She told Julia how those scholarships could be used for tuition and living expenses. In addition, she talked to Julia about the harmful effects of student loans. However, Julia steadfastly refused to apply for scholarships. She also refused to get a job.

In addition, Sandy wanted Julia to learn to drive because the community college Julia planned to attend was 30 minutes from home. Julia attempted to learn to drive, but she quit after a few tries.

Allow Teens to Have Natural Consequences

Julia decided to take the bus to go to college, but she hated it. Now, she wants a car, but she has no money. She has pestered Sandy to help her get a car and pay for gas and insurance, but Sandy refuses. So instead, she’s asking Julia to find a way to pay for this herself since Julia previously refused to apply for scholarships or get a job. Meanwhile, she can take the bus even if she doesn’t like it.

Final Thoughts

Watching your child struggle is difficult. However, if parents allow teens to have natural consequences, they learn far more than having parents lecture them.

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Our Two Large Financial Goals for 2023

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Our Two Large Financial Goals for 2023

I’m a goal-setter. If I don’t set goals, I meander through life, often wasting time and money. Goal setting gives me direction and purpose. I have an objective to work toward, and since I dislike not achieving my goals, I work hard. My husband and I recently sat down to discuss our plans for next year, and we settled on two large financial goals for 2023.

We’re in a Good Financial Place Going Into 2023

Thankfully, we’re in a good financial place going into 2023. We have paid off all our debts in the last few years, except for my husband’s student loans and our house. We’re not paying anything on the student loans until the pandemic pause ends.

Since we’re not focused on getting out of debt, we can focus on enjoying life and strengthening our financial position.

Our Two Large Financial Goals for 2023

This year’s goals are ones we’ve never tackled throughout our 20-plus-year marriage.

Save/Plan for Domestic and International Travel

My husband and I love to travel, but we’ve struggled with low-paying jobs and raising kids while paying off debt for most of our marriage. Now, we’re more secure financially, the kids are older, and the debts paid off. So we’ve decided to prioritize travel while we’re still young enough to enjoy it.

Take a Trip to Maine

Two Large Financial Goals for 2023

I have wanted to go to Maine since I was a teenager. The closest I got was Vermont. However, since our recent move to New York, we’re only eight hours away. Our goal this year is to travel to Maine for a vacation.

Save for a Trip to a European Country

We would also like to travel internationally. I have had the privilege of traveling to Canada, Ireland, China, Japan, and Switzerland. However, we haven’t traveled internationally for 20 years! So, it’s time to get back at it.

While we do plan to save for travel, we also plan to research travel hacking so we can go sooner than if we relied on savings alone.

Buy a New Car for (Mostly) Cash

We bought our Toyota Sienna 18 years ago. We financed almost the entire thing and paid it off in 4.5 years. We’re still driving that car, though, as you can imagine, we should replace it soon. (It currently has 238,000 miles on it.)

We bought my husband’s 2013 Subaru Outback used and again financed almost the entire thing. We paid it off in five years. It currently has 113,000 miles on it.

For the last few years, we’ve been saving to pay cash for a replacement for the Toyota Sienna. We currently have $20,000 saved. The goal is to buy the car with cash and, if necessary, a loan for no more than $10,000. If we can achieve this, it will be a huge financial victory because we’ve never been able to mostly pay for our vehicle in cash. Now, we need to decide what car we want.

Final Thoughts

Having financial goals, especially large financial goals for 2023 motivates us to stay on track financially. We tend to want to fund the goals instead of wasting money on small, unimportant items.

What are your financial goals for 2023?

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A Tip for Your Food Bank Donation

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Tip for Your Food Bank Donation

We’re heading into the holiday season with the trio of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Not only does this time because more hectic for most people, but it’s also a time when people become more generous and think of donating to others. Of course, one excellent way to donate is to give non-perishable food, but consider this tip for your food bank donation.

What Is Food Insecurity?

Thanks to the pandemic and inflation, food insecurity has a strong presence in our country. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s Economic Research Service, “10.2 percent (13.5 million) U.S. households were food insecure at some time during 2021.”

Due to increased demand, many food banks around the country report that they do not have enough food to give to those in need so now is an excellent time to give to a food bank.

My Experience with Food Insecurity

I have only been food insecure once in my life. I was in 7th grade, and my dad had been laid off 18 months prior. Despite actively searching for a job, he had trouble getting interviews, let alone a job.

Money in our family had always been tight, but after he was laid off, money became very tight. And then his unemployment checks ended. No job was on the horizon, and I remember the panic my mom felt. Feeding our family of four was a challenge.

A Tip for Your Food Bank Donation

That Thanksgiving, someone anonymously left us a basket filled with food. Inside was a large turkey and many canned goods. We were delighted to have that basket. For a few weeks, if we stretched the contents, we wouldn’t have to worry about where our next meal would come from.

During that time, we were always grateful for any food we received. However, most of the non-perishable food that people donated was unbranded. Of course, there is nothing wrong with off-label food, but we hadn’t eaten that way before, so the food wasn’t quite as good to my taste buds. It made me feel “poor.”

Tip for Your Food Bank Donation

But in that Thanksgiving basket, I found an item that made me feel like life was back to normal. Inside the basket were several boxes of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, which had been my favorite before my dad had gotten laid off. I’d eaten that at least twice a week. While I was grateful for the unbranded mac & cheese we received from food banks, having the real thing, the branded mac & cheese I had loved, made me so happy! I don’t remember how the turkey tasted that year, but I still cherish how good the Kraft Macaroni & Cheese tasted.

Final Thoughts

If you choose to give to a food bank this year, I suggest that you not buy all generic foods. True, they are the most economical choice, and you can donate more food for less money when you buy off-brand. However, I promise you, some child is missing his old favorite food that is now out of financial reach for his family. So, if you buy some name-brand food to mix in with the generics, you will delight the children of the family who receive the food, I promise.

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