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How to Combat Frugal Fatigue when Being Gazelle Intense

October 26, 2020 By MelissaB 11 Comments

My husband and I recently added up our student loan and credit card debt.  Imagine our shock when we discovered we have $58,000 in debt!  What was this debt comprised of?  It is made up of nearly $38,000 in student loans, $6,500 on a business credit card for a business that failed and $13,500 of personal credit card debt spread over two cards (the smallest balance at $1,000).  The latter debt is largely due to our current low income and some not so wise purchases.  We’ve recently become gazelle intense.  However, we’re being careful to combat frugal fatigue since we know we’ll need to live this lifestyle for quite some time.

Gazelle Intense

What a Gazelle Intense Day Looks Like for Us

At the urging of everyone around us, we began to follow Dave Ramsey.  Because we do not yet own a house but would like to in the next three to five years, we decided to become gazelle intense, as Dave Ramsey says.

What does gazelle intense look like for us?  My husband works away from the house for 10 hours a day.  After spending an hour with the kids when he comes home, he works on his dissertation and articles for publication for a few hours a night.

I stay home with the kids all day and blog, do virtual assistant work and freelance writing when the kids are napping and after they go to bed.  On the weekend, I typically leave the house for about four hours on both Saturday and Sunday to get more freelance work done.  I estimate that I am working 25 hours a week from home.  My husband is putting in another 20 hours a week at home doing work that will further his career and hopefully lead to a high paying, tenure track job in a few years.

Being Gazelle Intense Works!

Our hard work is paying off.  In just two weeks, we “found” an additional $701 to apply to our debt beyond our regular debt repayment schedule.  We found this money several ways.  First, we returned a few items we bought but hadn’t used before becoming gazelle intense.  Then, we also got an unexpected check that we put toward the debt.  We just paid off our first credit card with the lowest balance.  Next on our plan is to pay off the credit card with $6,500 within the next four weeks.

Getting Used to a New Lifestyle Takes Time

Gazelle Intense
Photo by Louis Hansel @shotsoflouis on Unsplash

As anyone who has become gazelle intense knows, there is a period of adjustment when you have to get used to the austere lifestyle that is required.  Let’s be honest—most people who have credit card debt have at least some of it because of a lack of impulse control and planning.

Was all of our credit card debt due to that?  No, we had a very low income for awhile when my husband’s graduate student teaching stipend was our only income, and we relied on credit to make ends meet.  However, we also ate out more than we needed to.  (Do you ever need to eat out?)  Our debt likely would be lower if we practiced more self-control with ourselves and our finances.  Since we weren’t stringent with ourselves then, we’re having to be now.

How to Maintain Gazelle Intensity for Months (and Years)

Gazelle intensity works with no break if you have a relatively short amount of time you must be laser focused.  If you can get your debt paid off in 12 to 18 months, you shouldn’t need a break.  However, if you’re looking at several years to pay down your debt, you will likely need to give yourself an occassional break to avoid frugal fatigue.

Take a Break After Each Debt

Because there is such an adjustment, to maintain your gazelle intensity and avoid frugal fatigue, consider rewarding yourself for each debt that you pay off or at a milestone you set.  If you have one large debt to pay off, maybe you will reward yourself for every $5,000 you pay off.

For us, since we love to eat out and now no longer eat out at all, we have decided that we will have one meal out every time we pay off a debt.  To maintain your drive, pick one thing you used to enjoy spending money on in your old, less frugal lifestyle, and commit to enjoying that activity once when you achieve your assigned goal in your debt snowball.  Keep it reasonable, less than $50, so you don’t derail your snowball, but give yourself that leeway to maintain your intensity.

Gazelle Intensity Interval Training

Another option is to do gazelle intensity interval training.  If you have a lot to pay off like we do, you may need a different strategy to keep up your motivation.  For instance, maybe you can commit to three months of intensely working and paying down your debt.  Then, you will take a break for one month.  Or, maybe you decide on an amount that you’ll pay down, and then you’ll take a break.  Maybe you decide to pay down $15,000 and then slow down in intensity for a bit. As you become invigorated again, set another goal that you’ll pay down before you rest.

Final Thoughts

Being gazelle intense definitely has rewards.  You put yourself in a painful place for an intense while until the debt is paid off.  Then, you begin to reap the rewards of all your hard work.  You can live like no one else, as Dave Ramsey says.

Yet, be careful not to become so strict with yourself that you give in to frugal fatigue and derail your debt snowball.  A small, planned out treat is often all it takes to keep you motivated and ultimately debt free.  If you’re confronting a large amount of debt, consider instead to be gazelle intense for a few months and then take a break.

Read More

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How to Save More Money Every Month

How to Get Out and Stay Out of Debt

MelissaB
MelissaB

Melissa is a writer and virtual assistant. She earned her Master’s from Southern Illinois University, and her Bachelor’s in English from the University of Michigan. When she’s not working, you can find her homeschooling her kids, reading a good book, or cooking. She resides in New York, where she loves the natural beauty of the area.

www.momsplans.com/

Filed Under: Debt Reduction, Frugality, Married Money, Saving, ShareMe Tagged With: dave ramsey, Debt Reduction, frugal, gazelle intensity, Saving

How to Handle Financially Toxic Parents

September 14, 2020 By MelissaB 20 Comments

Your parents should provide for you as you grow up, but what happens when they ask you for money?  Should you give money to your parents?  The answer to how to handle financially toxic parents depends on both you and them.

How to Handle Financially Toxic Parents

Reasons Your Financially Toxic Parents May Need Money

There are many reasons your parents may ask you for money.  Some are valid reasons, and others, not so much.

A Job Loss

Sometimes the unexpected happens.  Your parent may find him or herself out of a job and in need of money.  Our neighbor, Rob, worked hard all his life.  Because he married young and he and his wife had children in quick succession, Rob never got to go to college.  He worked as a janitor.  While he and his wife were responsible with their money, they just didn’t have much money.  They couldn’t establish much of an emergency fund because his income just paid the bills and covered the expenses of his seven children.

When Rob was 59, he lost his job.  At that age, he had a difficult time finding a new job.  In this situation, helping your parents out, if you’re financially able, is the right thing to do.

An Unexpected Funeral

How to Handle Financially Toxic Parents
Photo by Rhodi Lopez on Unsplash

If your parents no longer have life insurance and one dies, how does the other pay for the funeral?  Funerals can run upwards on $10,000 or more.  If your surviving parent doesn’t have the money to pay for the service and burial, contributing to this expense can be a nice gesture.

However, it is always better to plan for the future. If your parents don’t have a life insurance plan, talk to them directly. Remember, it’s never too late to have a policy. Burial insurance can be a savior by covering the funeral costs. Burial life insurance is nothing but a permanent whole life policy with small death benefits. Insurance experts also call it final expense insurance, funeral insurance, etc. You will be surprised to know that most of the big companies provide burial insurance for seniors. So, if your parents don’t have a policy yet, inspire them to have one and prepare for the unexpected.

For Younger Siblings

My friend, Joan, became friends with another girl, Leslie, in high school.  Leslie had an unstable home life and eventually moved in with Joan and her family.  When we all graduated high school, Leslie went to college for engineering and also worked full-time to support herself.

At regular intervals, Leslie’s mom, who still had four younger children at home, called Leslie and asked her for money.  For years, Leslie gave money to her mom because she felt guilty.  After all, her stepdad had just left, and her mom had to provide for the younger kids.

However, over time, her mother continued to spend irresponsibly, but Leslie didn’t feel like she could say no because if she did, her younger siblings would do without.  Leslie begrudgingly gave her mom money until all the kids were out of the house.

Bad Money Management Skills

How to Deal with Financially Toxic Parents
Photo by allison christine on Unsplash

Now, I’m on the flip side and am old enough to have friends who have adult children.  One of those “friends” (and I use the term loosely), Heather, continually writes on Facebook about her money troubles.  These posts always appear as thinly veiled requests for money.

In the most recent post, Heather wrote about the financial troubles she and her husband have and went on to say that their 20  year old son, who is working two jobs and taking a full load of college classes, is giving them money to pay for their utilities and gas to and from work.

However, in that same week, Heather posted about going out to eat two different times and having a manicure and pedicure as well as getting her hair highlighted.

Say what?!

Should You Give Your Parents Money?

As an adult, if you find yourself in the awkward position of deciding whether or not to give your financially toxic parents money, there are a few questions you should ask yourself:

Can you afford it?  Do you have the money to give your parents?  Can you loan them money without causing your own financial hardship?

Why do your parents need the money?  Are your parents in a truly tight financial spot because of unemployment, sickness or another issue?  Or, do they have a history of mismanaging money and now, like so many times before, they’re in a bind?

Are they trying to change their situation?  If your parents are facing financial difficulties, are they taking steps to try to improve their situation?  Are they wisely cutting expenses and learning how to manage their money so they won’t be in this position again?  You probably can’t give them advice here because they likely won’t listen, but you can recommend your favorite financial blogs or books to help them get a better handle on how to manage their money.

What does your spouse think?  If your parents are routinely asking for money, your spouse may be annoyed or angry.  After all, you’re giving away money that now can no longer be used for your own retirement fund, household needs, or for your kids.  If your spouse is tired of you giving your parents money, please listen.  The last thing you want to do is make your own marriage unstable to enable your financially toxic parents bad money habits.

Money arguments are the number one cause of divorce.  Giving money to your parents frequently can definitely lead to tension and disagreements in your own marriage.  Is enabling your parents worth it?

Should You Cut Your Parents Off?

If you do decide to lend your parents money, how often can you do so?  You should set boundaries for the limit of your generosity in the beginning.  Leslie, the girl I went to high school with, regularly gave her mother money for eight to ten years.  Then, as her younger siblings grew up and left home, Leslie saw that her mother often caused her own drama and financial woes.

She cut her mom off about 15 years ago, and now she rarely hears from her.

I don’t know how long Heather’s son will lend his parents money, but I hope it’s not for too long.  There’s no reason why a son should be financing his mother’s highlights and pedicures when he himself is working two jobs to pay his way through college.

Finally, if your parent is in dire financial straits due to addiction or gambling, you shouldn’t lend them money.  Using tough love here would be the best advice.

Have your parents ever asked to borrow money for you?  If so, how did you handle it?  

Are you a parent?  If so, have you ever asked to borrow money from your children?

Read More

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The Best Spacing of Children for Your Finances

Is Debt Hiding a Form of Cheating?

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MelissaB
MelissaB

Melissa is a writer and virtual assistant. She earned her Master’s from Southern Illinois University, and her Bachelor’s in English from the University of Michigan. When she’s not working, you can find her homeschooling her kids, reading a good book, or cooking. She resides in New York, where she loves the natural beauty of the area.

www.momsplans.com/

Filed Under: Children, Giving, Married Money, ShareMe Tagged With: family relationships, financially toxic, money lending, parents

When Should Your Child Get a Checking Account?

August 10, 2020 By MelissaB Leave a Comment

My oldest child has always had an interest in spending money and being independent, so I shouldn’t have been surprised when he wanted to open a checking account, but I was.  After all, I rarely use my own checking account.  I didn’t think a 13-year old would want one, but he was adamant he did.  It turns out, he was smart to want a checking account from such a young age, and I’m glad we let him open one.

When Should Your Child Open a Checking Account?

When Should Your Child Get a Checking Account?

There’s no hard and fast rule when your you child should get a checking account, but if the child is asking for one, it’s probably time.  That may happen when the child is 13 like my son was, or it may not happen until the child is 16 and working her first job.  (That’s when I got my checking account as a teen; I had no desire to have one before that.)  Your child will let you know when she is ready for one.  However, definitely by 16 or 17 she should open an account so she can practice managing her money before she moves away from home.

When Should Your Child Get a Checking Account?
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Have Safeguards in Place

Most banks require teens to have a parent co-sign on the account.  As a parent, you can also receive copies of the monthly statements so you can make sure your child is managing his money properly.

However, some banks have more parental controls than others, so you’ll want to pick the bank in part based on how responsible your teen is.  The bank our son chose had limited parental controls, but he didn’t really need them.  However, some banks allow parents to set limits on daily withdrawals and to receive text alerts when the child withdraws money.

Debit Card Experience Is Invaluable

Having a debit card attached to the checking account is invaluable.  Our child used actual checks sporadically, but he used his debit card all the time.  He knew down to the penny how much money he had in his account, and he would frequently ride his bike down to the bank to deposit more money before planning on shopping.

What Having a Checking Account Taught Our Child

Our son was diligent about writing down his expenses and managing his balance.  Still, one time early on he had an overdrawn account.  Sure, I was co-owner on the account, but when he had overdraft fees, I didn’t pay them; he did.

He was so annoyed with himself, and he has never made that mistake again in years of having a checking account.  I feel confident that when he’s on his own, he’ll be able to responsibly manage his checking account.

Final Thoughts

If you’re wondering when should your child get a checking account, the short answer is when she asks for one and is at least 13 years old.  However, she definitely should open one by the time she’s 16 or 17 so she can prepare to be financially responsible when she leaves home.

MelissaB
MelissaB

Melissa is a writer and virtual assistant. She earned her Master’s from Southern Illinois University, and her Bachelor’s in English from the University of Michigan. When she’s not working, you can find her homeschooling her kids, reading a good book, or cooking. She resides in New York, where she loves the natural beauty of the area.

www.momsplans.com/

Filed Under: budget, Children, Married Money Tagged With: checking account, children, debit cards, Personal Finance

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