Beating Broke

Personal Finance from the Broke Perspective

How To Prepare Your Teens to Live On Their Own

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Sure, you love your children, but there’s no doubt that raising them is expensive.  Many parents miss their kids when they move out, but they’re glad to be rid of a heavy financial obligation. . .unless the adult child moves back in.  Suddenly, aging parents may find themselves paying for Junior again, negatively affecting their finances.  One of the best ways to guard against that is to make sure Junior is ready to responsibly handle his finances when he flies the coop.

How to Prepare Your Teens to Live on Their Own

Since our son was about 12 years old, he has been eagerly anticipating moving out and living on his own when he turns 18.  We want to make sure that when he does move out (whether that’s at 18 or a year or two later), that he can live independently and sustainably.  These are some of the skills we’re working on.

How to Prepare Your Teens To Live On Their Own

There are some essential skills your child should master before moving out of the home:

Have a Strong Work Ethic

Some teens leave the nest never having worked a job or done chores around the house.  Kids who leave home without a strong work ethic are less likely to successfully transition from childhood to adulthood, meaning they have a higher chance of ending up back at home.

Teach children from the time they’re young to work for the things they want.  This becomes even more important as they reach the teen years.  Rather than just give your child $20 when she wants to head to the movies with friends, make her work for her money by doing a job around the house or helping a neighbor with a task.

Budget and Handle Money Responsibly

How to Prepare Your Teens To Live on Their Own

Many an adult child has moved back home saddled with debt from the college years.  To avoid this, in the high school years, teach your child how to budget.  Show her how you budget for the family and have her create her own budget with the money she earns from an allowance or part-time job.  Teach her to save for an emergency fund and to save for upcoming expenses.

Just as important as teaching her how to budget is to teach her how to use money responsibly.  One way to do start doing this is to give your 13 or 14 year-old child the money you would normally spend for her clothes for the season.  Let your child buy her own clothes with the money, and she will start learning how far a dollar stretches.  Another way to do this is to let her buy her own food.

Buy and Cook Food

How to Prepare Your Teens to Live on Their Own
Photo by Andy Chilton on Unsplash

When our son was 15.5 years old, we decided to give him a weekly grocery budget and let him do all of his own grocery shopping and cooking.  This has been interesting to watch.  The first few weeks, he ate too many carbs because they were cheap and he thought they would fill him up, which he quickly found to not be true.

The next few weeks, he had a meat heavy diet, which left him feeling sluggish.

The weeks after that, he started finding healthy recipes with balanced nutrition.  He did all of this with minimal input from us.  He learned by doing and experiencing.

Plus, he’s learning not only how to grocery shop wisely, but also how to meal plan and cook, essential skills for when he leaves the home.

Final Thoughts

Obviously, there are many steps to get a teen ready to leave the nest, but right now in our family, we’re focusing on these three as they seem most important for a teen to be able to successfully live on their own.

What suggestions would you add for how to prepare your teens to live on their own?

 

Teach Your Child About Finances With This Book

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As a mom and personal finance blogger, I get the opportunity to review many books.  One that I just reviewed that I can’t recommend highly enough is Sunny Lee’s book, Is Your Child a Money Master or a Money Monster?

Money Master or Money Monster?

Sunny Lee is a financial advisor, and she has taken the time to teach her twin sons about money.  In fact, her strategy has worked so well that she’s sharing all her techniques in this book.

Lee has a variety of strategies for teaching kids about money in a fun, incentive-filled way.

Offer rewards.  Lee’s strategy of offering her children rewards helps shape their behavior in a positive direction.  For instance, when her sons were in 1st grade, Lee developed the Morning Stuff Allowance Project.  Each morning, her kids had to get up when their alarms went off, tidy their rooms, get dressed, pack their backpacks, and make and eat their own breakfast and get to school on time.  If they did this every day, they earned $3 a week.

While the kids were motivated by the money, they were also unknowingly developing skills that would help them through the rest of their lives.  Even better, Lee didn’t have to fight with her boys in the morning to get up and get their chores done.  Everyone in her household could enjoy a more peaceful morning.

Play games.  As the boys got older, part of Lee’s strategy to teach them about money was to give them a safe place to experiment.  She did this by finding a variety of free, money based games online.  Her boys experimented online with running a coffee shop.  They had to decide when to discount their coffee based on the season, how much inventory to buy, etc.

Try out your skills in the real world.  Finally, Lee let her sons experiment and try their money skills in the real world.  An important component of this was to let them fail in small ways.  One son spent a large sum of money on a hat, which he loved, but then he didn’t have money available for a while after that.  Her other son learned from his brother and bought a hat at a discounted market so he wouldn’t use all of his money on one item.

Lee’s book contains seven strategies to teach your kids about money (and as a byproduct, teach them personal responsibility).  One thing I loved about the book and her strategy is that she keeps adding layers to her plan.  For instance, after her kids mastered the Morning Stuff Allowance Project, that remained in place, but Lee added on the Special Incentive Project.  If her boys chose to, they could earn additional money throughout the week by completing a book report, doing an art project, etc.  Again, she helped her children grow academically and artistically through an incentive.

I highly recommend this book to anyone looking to not only give their children a strong financial footing, but also a strong work ethic.

Have you read this book?  What is your favorite book to teach kids about money?

Your Children Will Grow and So Will Your Income

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Is your budget tight?  Have you slashed, and slashed, and slashed expenses but still find that there is no money left at the end of the month?    Do you find that your kids are eating more and more while grocery prices are increasing?  Do you despair at the news of rising egg costs?  Do you find that your grocery dollars don’t buy as much as they used to even a year ago?

Me, too.  I’m right there with you, but I’m here to tell you, don’t lose hope.  Things will improve. Your children will grow, but so will your income.

You May Not Have Thought You Could Survive the Baby Years

After I had my third child, I was overwhelmed, to say the least.  I was sleep deprived and exhausted trying to work from home to make money to pay down our debt, while helping my 7 year old with his homework and projects and caring for two kids under two.

Children will grow, so will your income
Original Image by Ray Dumas on Flickr

I thought I would never get a full night’s sleep again.  I couldn’t imagine a day without endless diaper changes.  I was in the thick of things.

But little by little, my kids gained independence.  First, one potty trained and then the next.  Hello diaper free days!

Then, one stopped using the stroller so I could move to a single stroller instead of a double one.  Then both grew up enough to not need the stroller.  Suddenly we could leave the house without a stroller or diaper bag.  Hello sweet freedom!

Gaining a bit of my life back was a gradual thing.  Each day now, my kids grow more and more independent and rely on me less for immediate needs.

Improving Your Finances Is a Gradual Process

I’m realizing, that even though my husband and I are in the thick of things financially, this time, too, shall pass.  Right now between braces, increased appetites, extracurricular activities, etc., we’re spending a lot of money.  Our budget is T-I-G-H-T.  But, in 13 years or so, all of our kids will be out of the house and on their own.

Not only will our life be our own, but our money will, too.  Just like I couldn’t imagine a full night’s sleep when my kids were little, I can’t imagine a month when our budget is not straining.  But I know it’s coming.

Once the kids move out, there are so many ways expenses go down.  You can move into a smaller house, if you’d like.  A minivan won’t be necessary anymore; a sedan will do just fine.  Two people eat much less than five, so groceries will be lower, too.

But it’s not just the increased expenses that will improve your bottom line.  There are the financial increases.  You and your spouse will continue to get raises.  If one parent stays home with the kids now, that parent can go back to work.  Having two incomes when you’re used to one can help you catch up financially, and quickly.

So, parents, don’t despair.  Finances will get better, especially if you remain disciplined and don’t upsize your life as your income increases and your expenses decrease.

Are you a parent of older or grown children?  If so, how have your finances changed over the years?  Are you a parent of young children?  Is your budget stretched, and stretched, and stretched?  Share your experiences!