market crash — Beating Broke

Goodness! Did you see what the markets did yesterday? Down almost 400 points! If you haven’t already, you had better join the rest of the world in getting out while you still can. The era of easy gains in the stock market and guaranteed returns has officially ended, and it isn’t pretty. It’s time to let go of the bull market ideals. Do you know what happens to a bull in a room full of bears? Here. Let me show you.

Seriously. Those bears are going to eat you alive! Sell everything you got now. Take it out in gold, and head for the hills. Don’t forget the canned supplies and vegetable seeds for after the apocalypse that will follow! Quit your job, pack your family up, and head for North Dakota. We’ve got plenty of oil field jobs available. (see: Bakken formation) And with a bunch of liquid black gold running over your fingers, you won’t need to worry about the crashing stock market anyways!

Ok, obviously, this whole post is a little bit tongue-in-cheek, with the exception of the North Dakota part. We really do have plenty of oil field jobs available. Best economy in the U.S.A., in fact. And, even if the post weren’t tongue-in-cheek, and you took it seriously, you really, really, should talk to a financial professional before making any thing resembling a sell everything move. The whole post was all for the enjoyment of myself, MoneyMamba, and others who felt that there would be a whole plethora of posts by our colleagues touting the benefits of dollar cost averaging and long term views on the stock market. They may be right, but sometimes you just have to poke a little fun. 😉

Despite my best efforts, I don’t know everything about finances, stock markets in particular, so please don’t construe this as advice. It isn’t.

photo credit: VirtualErn

With a recession (depending on whom you ask) upon us, would it have been wise for us to have taken a loan from our 401(k)s before it started? Bear with me here for a second. A loan from your 401(k) is pretty simple. You borrow the money from yourself and then repay it to the 401(k) with interest. The interest is usually something low. Normally, it’s a bad idea, as the market usually performs as well, if not better, than the interest on the loan.

But, if (and that’s a big if) you were able to time the market relatively well to know there was going to be a downturn, you could loan the money to yourself. Because the money would not be in the account, it wouldn’t suffer from the loss of value in your investments. And instead, you’d gain whatever the interest rate was that you loaned the money for. Instead of a double digit loss, you could have a relatively decent gain. In theory it could work.

In theory. The catch here is that you would have to time the market correctly. If you missed it by a day, you could cost yourself some money. If you were totally wrong and the market rallied, you’d end up missing out on possible gains. But, if it worked, it could work out pretty well. In the end, the more I look at it, it’s really a form of gambling. You’re gambling that you can time the market and save your money.

Gambling is never a safe bet when it comes to your retirement. It’s always tempting though. It’s important to remember that a fall like we had over the last few years almost always comes back up. You haven’t really lost money so much as lost value. There’s a big difference there. And if you keep contributing, which you should, you’re buying the very same investments at a bargain price. So, instead of trying to minimize your losses by pulling your money out, you should be increasing your investment to maximize your return when the account finally bounces back up.

Sell! Sell! Sell!

401(k) Loans as Recession Insurance?