Beating Broke

Personal Finance from the Broke Perspective

Is It Time to Give Up Your Debt Free Dream?

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From the time my son was three, I’ve been a big Dave Ramsey fan.  When my youngest children were young (two under two), I quit my job to stay home with our three kids.  We decided to get gazelle intense with our debt.  Since my husband was working part-time and attending graduate school, that meant I had to work from home.  Work I did.  I worked a lot, and I compromised my health.

While we reduced our debt a lot, we never got debt free.

Then we had a cross-country move.

We also had significant medical bills this last year when one of our children had a medical crisis, the treatments of which were not all covered by insurance.

Our income, while more than it was years ago when I was gazelle intense, has never really grown much.

My husband and I were talking about finances recently, and I mentioned that I’d like to get gazelle intense again.

But, my husband, not so much.

Give up on your debt free dream
Is there a better way?

He sees our children growing up, and he doesn’t want to work, work, work trying to pay off debt.  Instead, he wants to spend more time with the kids, take vacations with them, and just enjoy them before they fly the nest.  As fast as time is going, that will be all too soon.

Turns out, my husband is not alone in this sentiment.

Recently, I stumbled upon a Daily Worth article where the author’s husband felt exactly as mine did.  He didn’t want to spend all of his time working and penny pinching, not enjoying life, in the hopes that he would one day be debt free.  The author writes of her husband, “He didn’t want to wait another five years to take our first family vacation.  He didn’t want to give up a decade of our lives in order to live my extreme version of the American dream.  He wanted a house in a better neighborhood that was actually big enough for our family.  He wanted to spend some of the money he had worked so hard for.  He was done.”

So, too, is my husband.

That doesn’t mean we’re going to go crazy spending.  What it does mean is that we will save money to take a vacation with our kids.  (The only vacations we’ve ever had were when we took the kids along when my husband attended conferences.  I took the kids to see fun things while my husband worked—not exactly a family vacation.)

We’ll finally start putting money in the kids’ college funds, and we’ll also start funding our Roth IRAs.  (We didn’t want to do these two things until we became debt free.)

My husband is expecting a substantial raise soon, and we will use some of that money to pay down debts, but we’ll also use some of that money to enjoy now.  After all, you’re never guaranteed tomorrow. . .or retirement.

If you’re in debt, is your goal still to be 100% debt free, or are you choosing to live and enjoy your life now while paying down debt?

 

Some Years, No New Debt Is Reason To Celebrate

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When you’re in debt, it’s easy to be hard on yourself.

You shouldn’t have let yourself go into so much debt. 

You weren’t smart with your money. 

You’re not paying off the debt fast enough. 

On and on we berate ourselves.

It’s even easier to do this at the end of the year when you feel financial pressure to buy gifts for not only family members, but associates, hired help, etc.

In addition, if you’re anything like me, you may have set some lofty goals last January that you could not achieve.

Our Lofty Goals

Last January, I could see nothing but clear horizons.  I set some ambitious financial goals (for our financial situation).

  • I wanted to put at least $3,000 in our emergency fund.
  • I wanted to save $1,000 for a family vacation.
  • I wanted to save $3,000 for a new-to-us car.

Guess how many of those financial goals I accomplished?  None!

Guess how many I partially accomplished?  None!

No new debt celebrate

Sometimes Finances Are Just about Survival

What I could not see that fine January morning when I set my goals was that we were on the precipice of a financial cliff.

Within just a few weeks of setting the goals, we experienced a number of financial difficulties.

  • My husband had to get a root canal and a crown at the cost of almost $600.
  • I had to see a periodontist and several dentists for a cyst on my gum that finally resulted in a root canal in April and a corrected filling. The cost of all the treatment was approximately $700.
  • Our daughter had to have several fillings filled and then later had to have a tooth pulled. $300.  (This was a special year for dentistry; I promise, our teeth aren’t as bad as this year makes it sound!)
  • Our car needed a $1,500 repair.
  • Our car needed new tires. $700.
  • My son needed braces. We saved and paid the first $900 out of pocket.  In a few months, we’ll need to come up with another $900, and then we’ll be on a payment plan with zero interest for the rest.
  • Our 18 year old A/C unit was leaking Freon, causing one electric bill to be $150 more than normal, and we also paid $200 to have it serviced for a grand total of $350.

In short, this year was a financial disaster as far as paying off debt went.  This year was all about financial survival mode.

And that’s okay.  Some years you can’t be gazelle intense or even pay any extra on your debt because you’re too busy just surviving.

Even though the year didn’t go the way we had planned, at all, it wasn’t a complete wash financially.

The good news is that we learned more creative ways to stretch our money even further.  We’ll continue to implement those strategies this upcoming year.

The even better news is that we didn’t acquire any new debt.

Sometimes, treading water is the best you can do.  Overall, for this year, I’m happy with that.

If you’re paying off debt, did you make the progress you wanted to this year, or did you have a year like ours?

Is Not Keeping Up with the Joneses Boring?

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We’ve been on a journey to pay off our debt for 3.5 years now.  At first, we were gazelle intense, but then I burned out from working too hard, so we slowed down on the debt repayment.

Last year, we moved to Arizona from Illinois, so our money became much tighter as we faced unexpected moving expenses.  (Aren’t there always unexpected expenses when making such a long move?)

To make matters worse, in the first 3.5 months of 2015, we’ve faced $5,000 in unexpected car repairs and dental bills.

The good news is that even though we haven’t made significant debt repayment progress over the last year, we’ve been able to pay for all of these most recent expenses in cash, without going further into debt.

Boring JonesesBasically, each year for the last 3.5 years, our budget has become tighter and tighter.  We’ve definitely NOT kept up with the Joneses.

Yet, we’ve not found this type of life boring.

We Appreciate Splurges More

If anything, living this way makes us appreciate a “treat” that we used to take for granted.  For instance, I homeschool my kids, and my daughters recently completed preschool and kindergarten.  They were both very excited about moving on to kindergarten and first grade, respectively, so my husband and I decided to take the family out for a treat.

We went to our favorite restaurant.  We went for breakfast, so the bill would be cheaper, and we used a $25 gift card that we had gotten at Christmas and saved.  Because we had not gone out to eat in about five months, the kids were beyond thrilled.  All of us enjoyed the meal greatly.

Because we haven’t gone out to eat in so long, doing so was a special treat.

Before we got on a budget and started paying down debt, we often went out to eat three or four times a week.  Honestly, because we did it so often, going out to eat had become boring.  Now, because we don’t do it very often, we appreciate the meal when we do go out.

Because we have simplified our lives, we are able to enjoy special occasions much more.

We Have Plenty of Fun—For Free

Just because we aren’t keeping up with the Jones and are on a budget doesn’t mean we aren’t having fun.  Just this week, my mom was in town for a visit.  We took her to a national park, which had free admission that day.  We watched artisans make homemade tortillas and weave baskets.  We listened to a local band, and we got an excellent tour of the site.  Before heading home, we enjoyed a picnic lunch on the grounds.

Last month we went to the Tucson Festival of Books.  There was so much to do (for free!) that we stayed over five hours.  We could have stayed even longer.

Going on a tight budget and deciding NOT to keep up with the Jones can be difficult at first.  Now, however, we’ve done it for so many years that we find living this way actually improves our quality of life.