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What Christmas Expectations Are You Setting for Your Children?

December 10, 2012 By MelissaB 9 Comments

What are your children’s expectations for Christmas presents?  Do they expect many Christmas presents under the tree and their every wish to be met?  Do they expect a modest Christmas?

Believe it or not, the answer to this question doesn’t really depend on your kids; it depends on you.  From the time your children are small, you set their expectations, and what you set by example is what they come to know as “normal” (until they get married and find that their partner has a different “normal” than they do, but that is another post).

If you have small children, think carefully about what expectations you want to give your children.  Yes, retailers would prefer that you shop ’til you drop and give your credit card a work out, but it doesn’t have to be that way.  Here are what some people do who have chosen to have a different Christmas celebration than retailers would prefer you have:

1.  Give some new gifts, some used, and some homemade.

Amy Dacyczyn, the original Frugal Zealot and author of The Tightwad Gazette had six children to buy for.  Each child got one new gift.  Then, they got a few gifts that were used items that she had purchased at garage sales and thrift stores.  She also made her children a few gifts.  If I remember correctly, she spent $50 or under for each child.  (Of course, this was 20 years ago, so accounting for inflation, she spent no more than $82 for each child in 2012 dollars.

While you might balk at the idea of giving garage sale gifts for presents, I can tell you that I followed Dacyczyn’s practices when I had my own kids, and some of our kids’ presents are nice finds that we got at garage sales.  My oldest is 8, and he has yet to complain about it because it is what he expects.  He still does get new presents, but there are used ones in the mix.  (I like the term recycled better, though.)

2.  Give a charitable donation instead of gifts.

Ann Voskamp, the blogger behind A Holy Experience, recounts that one Christmas Eve 10 years ago, her son asked her, “Why don’t we give up things so we can give to Jesus for his birthday?”  The question radically changed Voskamp’s way of thinking, and from that year on, her family has foregone giving Christmas gifts to one another.  Instead, each day during Advent they make a charitable donation using the money they would have spent on gifts.

This is a radical idea, to be sure, but it is the norm now for her family.

3.  Only give 3 gifts.

Another idea based in Christian roots is to only give your children three gifts.  Some do this because the Wise Men brought Jesus 3 gifts.  Others take a spin on this and give their children three gifts–something they want, something they need, and something they can experience.

4.  Meet needs as gifts.

Gifts don’t have to be all luxuries and things you want.  When I was growing up, my parents’ money was extremely tight.  I got some new clothes during the back to school season, but my winter clothes and sometimes even my uniform clothing or new backpack were all given as Christmas presents.  I was always excited to get these things and never felt deprived.  My mom told me a few years ago that she had to give gifts this way because money was so tight, but I never knew.  This practice was normal for me.

Christmas gift giving was not always the extravaganza it is now.  As an adult, I reread the Little House in the Prairie books, and I was struck by how happy Laura was to get her very own handmade tin cup and an orange for Christmas one year.

If you are a parent of small children, you can start your Christmas gift giving traditions now, and they don’t have to involve credit card debt you can’t pay off until March or April.

What is your favorite way to give gifts at Christmas?

img credit: South Granville Live on Flickr

Filed Under: budget, Children, Frugality, Giving Tagged With: budget, children, christmas, frugaler, Frugality, gifts, Giving

Is Your Generosity Costing You Big?

June 13, 2012 By Debt And the Girl 8 Comments

One of the hardest things for many to do is not to give generously when confronted with someone in need. There are usually tons of stories on the news now about people who are losing their homes or children not getting enough to eat. It may take all your will power to keep you from opening your wallet and donating everything you can from all these causes, but what would that do to you? I know that I sometimes have to do a double check when I hear a sad story. The bad thing is that I am also on a budget so how do you help while also not losing your shirt?

Charity recycling © by HowardLake

Many people give 10% of their income to their churches or various charities. If that is something that can be afforded, I think that’s great. The persistent lagging economy has really cut donations to several charities, and it is just not possible for a lot of people. Money is generally the most needed thing in a non-profit company but it is not the only thing you can donate. You could also donate cans to your local food bank or even volunteer your time to your favorite charity. Additionally, many

non-profits are in desperate need of items that help with administration costs such as the donation of paper, pens, and other office supplies. Many of us have extra of these items lying around anyway. Why not donate them to a good cause?

This is a topic that is very personal to me because I have given lots of money over the years even at times when I really needed it. It was once very hard for me to say no to others. I was raised with the mentality that you should help everyone you can, but that was the problem. I was helping others before I helped myself. I have helped those who needed funds and sometimes they did not even appreciate it. I soon realized that I had to give up buying expensive gifts and then putting them on the credit card. I had to stop opening my wallet when I heard a sob story from people I sometimes only barely knew. I now allocate a set amount for donations to some of the charities that I believe in most and that have shown a proven track record with spending effectively. I also have donated my time fostering dogs from the local shelter as a way of helping out. When I get completely out of debt, I can donate more of my money to charity, but I must take care of my own before I can do t

I have seen so many kind-hearted people put themselves in harm’s way just to help out another person. The only bad thing is if you keep doing this than you run the big risk of putting yourself in financial ruin. Financial ruin means you couldn’t help anyone out for a very long time. This can be very difficult but knowing when to say no is just as important to your financial well being as budgeting. When you can, please donate but until then, make sure you and your family are covered economically.

Filed Under: Giving Tagged With: charity, debt, generosity, Giving

Catching Up On Your Year End Financial Planning

December 20, 2010 By Aloysa 10 Comments

The 2010 year end is almost here, and hopefully most of us are looking at our finances and asking ourselves a question: “Are we ready for 2011? Is there something we need to do before 2010 ends?”

Most of us probably have already done everything from buying Christmas gifts and donating to charities to scheduling annual doctors visits to make sure our flexible spending accounts

are zeroed out. But for those people who (like me) are too busy with work and blogging, and too tired from Holiday parties or just too relaxed on their couches with a book in hand or a favorite movie on TV, I came up with the “Year End To Do List.”

DSC_0042-cb_1_72 - My New Years Eve Look - Coutesy of my Grandchildren
During the Holidays, financial planning is obviously not a high priority on our holiday agenda. But if we do some planning right now, it might save us some money in the future. I am sure you already know all of the stuff I summarized in my list. But I think a refresher course might not hurt, and a summary below might be useful to consider.

Disclaimer: Aloysa is not your personal financial adviser. Please take this fact into consideration if you decide to follow the list below.

Year End To Do List:

1. Evaluate your portfolio. Do you have some deadbeat stock that you don’t want? Why hang on to it in anticipation of better times? Consider getting rid off them now. Why? Because you can use losses to offset gains (if you have any) to minimize your tax liability. You can use up to $3,000 in capital losses to offset your gains. Do you have any leftover? You can carry it over to the next year. Just make sure that you do not sell your deadbeat stock and buy the same or similar stock within 30 days in order to take advantage of the losses.

2. Don’t forget to max out your IRA contribution to the full IRA contribution limits (if you can). You can contribute up to $5,000 this year. Don’t forget your 401K too!

3. Some of us have traditional IRA accounts. I will not go into explanations of what it is because I assume that if you have it, you know what I am talking about. If you are clueless, skip this and move on to # 4. One of my friends is considering converting her traditional IRA accounts to a Roth. She anticipates that her income tax rate will increase significantly in 2011. I think everyone is given an opportunity to convert their traditional IRA to Roth in 2010. If you do the conversion in 2010, you will be able to delay paying taxes until 2011 or 2012. If later you are not sure anymore and think that the conversion was not a right move, you have until October 15 of the year following the year of conversion to change your mind.

4.  I believe that one of the proposed changes by the deficit commission was to reduce the tax benefits of charitable donations. If this proposal becomes law, our charitable contributions might be limited to whatever rate will be determined. If you are in higher tax bracket (Check your 2011 tax brackets) you might not get a full tax deduction on your charitable contribution. But this year you still may be able to take advantage of charitable contributions (subject to certain limitations). In the end, you will feel good too because you supported your favorite charity and a great cause.

5. You are finally totaling your receipts and looking at your flexible spending account balance. What do you see? There is some balance left! You decide to do an annual exam with your physician. Wait a second, don’t rush to see your favorite doctor. I’d recommend you consider putting your annual check up off because under health care reform, most employer insurance plans must offer free preventive care, starting in 2011. You might be better off making some flexible spending account changes and spending your flexible spending account balance on a new pair of glasses, contact lenses, or getting flu shots if you didn’t get them yet.

photo credit: bterrycompton

Filed Under: budget, economy, Financial Miscellaneous, Giving, Investing, Taxes Tagged With: advice, flex spending, flexible spending accounts, new year, Retirement, tax brackets, Taxes

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