Children Archives — Page 3 of 18

The Best Spacing of Children for Your Finances

January 30, 2020 By MelissaB Leave a Comment

My husband and I have three kids. The first two are 4.4 years apart, and the second two are 17 months apart. Our younger two get along great and are playmates most of the time, save for the occasional fight. Our oldest is so far apart in age from them that he doesn’t really have much to do with either of the younger ones.

If you’re just starting your family or planning to do so, you may wonder what the perfect age separation is between your children. That can vary wildly depending on your family, your kids, and their interests. However, if you’re looking at the best spacing of children for your finances, I’d recommend having children 4 to 5 years apart.

The Best Spacing of Children for Your Finances

Why? There are several reasons:

Braces

The Best Spacing of Children for Your Finances — Photo by Luis Quintero on Unsplash

My oldest got braces when he was 11.5, but they didn’t come off until he was 13.5. We paid in installments (interest free) almost that entire time. As soon as his braces were paid off, literally the next month, our middle child started the process of expanding her jaw to prepare for braces. I’m thankful that we didn’t have to pay for braces for two kids at once. I’m also thankful that it looks like our youngest won’t need braces, so I still won’t have to pay for braces for two kids at the same time.

Growth Spurts

I think our oldest is on a permanent growth spurt, and his appetite is no joke. It was nice, for a few years when his rapid growth and appetite were larger than my husband’s, to still have two smaller children who had much smaller appetites. I can’t imagine having three ravenous teenage children at once who are eating me out of house and home.

Day Care Costs

Our oldest attended day care and preschool while I continued to work. He had almost finished preschool and was nearly ready to go to a public kindergarten (read free!) when we had our second child. I did get ample maternity leave with my second, so we didn’t have to worry about paying for two kids in day care.

However, I was only back to work a short while before I became pregnant with #3. When I thought about returning to work and looked at the daycare costs for two children under two, I realized I would be working simply to pay for daycare. I quit my job and have been working as a freelance writer from home ever since.

College

This is probably the biggest reason to space your children four or five years apart. You can get one child through college before the next one starts. Sure, if you have more than one child in college you’ll likely qualify for more financial aid, but it will still cost you more than if you were paying for only one child in college.

Empty Nest

Okay, this one doesn’t have much to do with finances, but when you space your children further apart, you become an empty nester much more slowly. When my oldest leaves home, I’ll likely still have several years at home with my younger two. I can’t imagine having all of my kids move out around the same time if they are closely spaced together.

Of course, there are many considerations, not just financial, when deciding how closely to have your children. However, the best spacing of children for your finances is four to five years apart.

If you have kids, did you decide on spacing based on finances or other factors? How far apart did you space your kids and why?

The Worst Way to Prepare When Expecting a Baby

January 6, 2020 By MelissaB Leave a Comment

When you see two pink lines on a pregnancy test, you may be ecstatic and ready to go into full on nesting mode, buying clothes, diapers, and other items. However, doing that can actually be the worst way to prepare when expecting a baby.

The Worst Way to Prepare When Expecting a Baby

Here’s some of the poor purchases expectant parents make that they later regret:

Buying Diapers in Bulk

There are two problems with buying diapers in bulk that most first-time parents don’t think of.

Your Baby May Be Bigger or Smaller Than You Think

You don’t know what size your baby will be when born or how quickly he will grow. Some babies are tiny and stay in the smallest size diapers for months, while others outgrow them within a few weeks.

Before we had our first child, several people gifted us with size 1 diapers. The problem? Our son came 17 days overdue, and he was almost 10 pounds. Plus, he grew rapidly. He only fit in those size 1 diapers for a few weeks, and we had plenty of leftovers. We saved those for future kids, but all of our kids were over 9 pounds and fit in those diapers for just a few weeks.

Your Child May Be Allergic to a Certain Type of Diaper

Many babies develop a rash when using a certain type of diaper. What type of diaper, though, depends on the baby. My friend had oodles of Pampers, but her baby broke out in a rash when using Pampers. She could only use Huggies, so the stash she had of Pampers went unused.

Buying All Your Own Items

The Worst Way to Prepare When Expecting a Baby — Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Many expectant parents rush out to buy a play pen, crib, high chair, etc. But why? Chances are that, thanks to the generosity of coworkers, relatives, and friends, you will likely have several baby showers where you will get almost, if not all, of the items you need.

When we had our baby showers, we got every big items we needed such as a baby stroller, crib, baby bath tub, etc.

Buying Items In Gender Dominant Colors

When we had our baby showers, we didn’t yet know the gender of the baby, which turned out to be a blessing. We asked for gender neutral items and could reuse them for the next baby, regardless of sex. Our first child was a boy, but our next two were girls.

Time and time again, I see parents who are expecting a girl and buy every large baby item in pink. Then, when the next child is a boy, they have to buy these items all over again and vice versa. Don’t make this mistake. If you plan on having several children, buy gender neutral large items.

Final Thoughts

Children come with many, many expenses. In fact, most parents find that the expenses grow as the child grows older, and they continue until the child graduates from college. The worst way to prepare when expecting a baby is to rush out immediately and stock up on diapers and buy big ticket baby items. Instead, save your money for future child-related items and enjoy your pregnancy.

How To Prepare Your Teens to Live On Their Own

December 30, 2019 By MelissaB Leave a Comment

Sure, you love your children, but there’s no doubt that raising them is expensive. Many parents miss their kids when they move out, but they’re glad to be rid of a heavy financial obligation. . .unless the adult child moves back in. Suddenly, aging parents may find themselves paying for Junior again, negatively affecting their finances. One of the best ways to guard against that is to make sure Junior is ready to responsibly handle his finances when he flies the coop.

How to Prepare Your Teens to Live on Their Own

Since our son was about 12 years old, he has been eagerly anticipating moving out and living on his own when he turns 18. We want to make sure that when he does move out (whether that’s at 18 or a year or two later), that he can live independently and sustainably. These are some of the skills we’re working on.

How to Prepare Your Teens To Live On Their Own

There are some essential skills your child should master before moving out of the home:

Have a Strong Work Ethic

Some teens leave the nest never having worked a job or done chores around the house. Kids who leave home without a strong work ethic are less likely to successfully transition from childhood to adulthood, meaning they have a higher chance of ending up back at home.

Teach children from the time they’re young to work for the things they want. This becomes even more important as they reach the teen years. Rather than just give your child $20 when she wants to head to the movies with friends, make her work for her money by doing a job around the house or helping a neighbor with a task.

Budget and Handle Money Responsibly

How to Prepare Your Teens To Live on Their Own

Many an adult child has moved back home saddled with debt from the college years. To avoid this, in the high school years, teach your child how to budget. Show her how you budget for the family and have her create her own budget with the money she earns from an allowance or part-time job. Teach her to save for an emergency fund and to save for upcoming expenses.

Just as important as teaching her how to budget is to teach her how to use money responsibly. One way to do start doing this is to give your 13 or 14 year-old child the money you would normally spend for her clothes for the season. Let your child buy her own clothes with the money, and she will start learning how far a dollar stretches. Another way to do this is to let her buy her own food.

Buy and Cook Food

How to Prepare Your Teens to Live on Their Own — Photo by Andy Chilton on Unsplash

When our son was 15.5 years old, we decided to give him a weekly grocery budget and let him do all of his own grocery shopping and cooking. This has been interesting to watch. The first few weeks, he ate too many carbs because they were cheap and he thought they would fill him up, which he quickly found to not be true.

The next few weeks, he had a meat heavy diet, which left him feeling sluggish.

The weeks after that, he started finding healthy recipes with balanced nutrition. He did all of this with minimal input from us. He learned by doing and experiencing.

Plus, he’s learning not only how to grocery shop wisely, but also how to meal plan and cook, essential skills for when he leaves the home.

Final Thoughts

Obviously, there are many steps to get a teen ready to leave the nest, but right now in our family, we’re focusing on these three as they seem most important for a teen to be able to successfully live on their own.

What suggestions would you add for how to prepare your teens to live on their own?