Beating Broke

Personal Finance from the Broke Perspective

It’s O.K. If Your Kids Are Bored This Summer

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Ah, summer.  A time of relaxation, heat, and. . .boredom?

Yep, boredom.  When I was a child, the big activity for the summer was to go to Vacation Bible School one week of the summer.  The rest of the time, well, my days stretched wide open before me.

I might read a good book, or run through the sprinkler, or eat a popsicle, or lay on the grass looking at the clouds floating by or go bike riding with my friend or play on the swing set or play with Barbies.

Those were the days of summer.

I loved every minute that I was out of school, but by mid-July, after the excitement of the 4th of July holiday wore off and I’d been on summer break for several weeks, I often found myself bored.  I mean b.o.r.e.d.

Kids are Bored this Summer
Org. Img.: Bored by Marcus Nelson on Flickr

I was actually excited and ready to go back to school.

Do kids today feel that anymore?

The answer, typically, is no, but it’s O.K. if your kids are bored this summer!

Summer Can Hit Your Wallet Hard

If you want to keep your kid busy all summer long, you can expect to spend quite a bit of money doing so.  I have a friend who is paying over $1,000 for her seven year old to attend summer day camp for a few weeks.  And that is just one child!

Of course, families with two working parents must find ways to make sure that their kids are cared for, so that is part of the reason why kids are overbooked.  But my friend whose paying for her daughter’s summer camp is a stay-at-home mom.

Boredom Is Not a Bad Thing

However, if the parents are in a situation where they can let their kids get bored, i.e. one parent stays home to take care of the kids, boredom might not be such a bad thing.  Nancy Darling, a professor of Psychology at Oberlin College, states, “From a developmental perspective, kids have very little experience learning to find things to do FOR THEMSELVES.  They have been PASSIVE.  Adults shape their activities.  When they get to the point where they are too old for that—or there just aren’t adults to do it—the kids are at a loss.  They might know what they like to do—or what they don’t—but they have little experience figuring out how to make good things happen.  Boredom is okay” (Psychology Today).

Think about times when you were bored as a kid.  Those times obviously didn’t last forever.  You found something to do.  You may have compromised and played a board game with your younger brother even though you really didn’t like playing with him, but anything was better than boredom!  You may have written a story, or created a Lego invention, or made a new imaginary game.

Alyson Jones, who is a counselor, states, “Boredom is not the enemy to be conquered by action and another planned activity.  Boredom can be a vehicle to creative thinking, self-awareness, empathy and compassion.  When we are bored we are often alone with our thoughts—this is a great way for children to get to know themselves” (The Huffington Post).

If you have the flexibility in your schedule, why not give the kids some time to be bored this summer?  Your wallet will thank you, and someday your kids might, too.

What do your kids do for the summer?  Do you give them time to be bored or are they scheduled?

 

 

 

 

To Grow Wealthy, Stay Where You Are

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When I was little, I devoured the Little House on the Prairie series. I felt bad then for Ma and Pa. I felt bad for the way they struggled financially, facing setback after setback. I felt bad that they always had to move just as soon as they were settled.

But then I read the books again as an adult. Then I read them one more time to my daughters. Now I realize, as much as Pa was a loving father, he was responsible for a lot of his family’s financial hardships.

Life in Wisconsin was good for them. But once Pa got the itch to go west, his family never had a stable environment. They never got more than a few years into getting settled and making a life for themselves before they moved again.

Does Moving Now Cause the Same Financial Difficulties?

Grow Wealthy
Grow Wealthy by Staying Put?

Most people would argue that life was different then, and moving around now doesn’t cause as much financial hardship, but as someone who recently completed a 2,000-mile move, I would disagree.

My husband and I had lived in Chicago for 14 years before we made the move last July to Tucson, Arizona. We went for my husband’s work and because the move would give us a lower cost of living and a pay raise for my husband. On paper, everything looked good.

We foolishly thought we’d stay for two to four years. Now, I’m not sure we should move so soon if we want to prosper financially.

Even though my husband’s employer paid for the move, we still had many expenses like setting up the utilities and paying deposits on them, buying a few new pieces of furniture, etc.

Breaking Even and Getting Ahead Takes Years

We bought a house when we moved here, knowing that we weren’t sure how long we’d stay. We’ve had our mortgage for 15 months now, and in that time, we’ve paid down $4,300 on principal. Our home has increased just $1,100 in value during that time. That gives us a cushion of about $5,400, but I’m guessing if we were to sell our house next year (which would be two years that we’ve lived here), we’d be losing money thanks to realtor fees.

We’ve also just reached the point where we’ve started to discover ways to save money in our new city. Now I know where the cheapest places are to buy groceries, secondhand clothes, etc. Our first few months here we spent much more than we normally do on groceries because I didn’t know which stores offered the best deals.

We also have finally found decent doctors and dentists. Our first few months here, we found out my daughter need 6(!) cavities filled. We had to go to four different dentists before we found one that we liked and could trust. All of those different visits cost us a little less than $200 out of pocket, and that was before her cavities were even filled.

Of course, I’m not saying never to move. In our case, the decrease in cost of living and my husband’s raise made it possible for us to own a house, which we couldn’t afford to do during our 14 years living in Chicago. However, the whole story isn’t just on paper.  When you move, there are many incidentals that add up. Moving repeatedly can cause you to struggle financially.

It’s no surprise to me that the only time in life when Pa and Ma flourished financially was after Ma put her foot down and refused to move from DeSmet, North Dakota. Without the constant moves, they could finally get established and become comfortable financially.

How often do you move? Do you agree that frequent moves are detrimental to your finances?

Would You Be Better Off Single (Financially)?

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There are, undeniably, some benefits to being married.  Both financially, and otherwise.  But, are there benefits to being single as well?  Would you be better off single?

One of the biggest financial benefits to being married is the ability to have two full-time incomes coming into the household.  Using both incomes, we have the ability to save more money for retirement and for emergencies.  But, we’ve still got to have the ability to see each other once in a while, so we have a limited ability to extend our work hours to increase our incomes.  Being single, you have the ability to work 10-12 hours a day, and increase your income through overtime, or through a second, after-hours job.

Together Time 106/365As a single person, there’s no arguments over where the money should go, how much of it to save, or whether a person can survive on a diet of rice and beans.  Frugality can be taken to extremes that are usually off limits to the married.  Want to live in a one room shack with limited heating and cooling because you’re at work more than you’re at home?  If you’re single, you can do that.  Being married, especially if there are children, makes that a near impossibility.  Want to take up a bike lane living lifestyle?  In North Dakota?  If you’re single, that’s probably possible.  Married?  With kids?  Think again.

Being single also helps you save money.  There are no Valentines gifts or anniversary gifts needed.  Why buy a fancy bedroom set when a mattress on the floor will do the trick?  Your dining out bill is easily cut in half, or more, since you don’t need to eat at those fancy restaurants. Taco Bell and Dominos will do just fine.

Without the restrictions on your time, you have free rein to do what you want, when you want to do it.

Are you single?  Are you better off financially than you would be if you were married?  Are you married?  What do you think?  Would you be better off, financially, if you were single?

photo credit: SashaW